You Get What You Give: A Note of Thanks and Some Advice

I am one lucky person.  Well maybe not that lucky.  I am at a point in my life where a lot of things are starting to click.  Big changes are about to happen and for the first time in my life that I can remember, I feel really good about where life is headed.  If you read my last post, you'll know that after twenty years in my house, I have decided to sell.  It's one of the biggest decisions I've ever made and as the days have passed since that post, I'm actually starting to get excited...but that's not what I wanted to talk about...

When I posted It's Happening the other night, it was late.  I pretty much hit the 'publish' button and called it a night.  Well, I woke up the next morning to almost 500 page views, 80 likes and 50-plus comments on Facebook, as well as several texts and messages, all entirely supportive of my decision.  I was literally overwhelmed with emotion from it all.  I even heard from people I hardly connect with much anymore, and it just got me to thinking of how lucky, yet not so lucky I am.

I'm lucky because I have a support system of incredible people around me...friends, family, colleagues, and even simple acquaintances.  I don't always remember that until something like this comes along and boom, even the simplest of gestures gives me a feeling like no other.  I am humbled and feel very blessed. 

Once the house had been put up just yesterday and I posted the pictures my friend and realtor Ricardo had taken, the love and support flooded me all over again.  Lol, I don't know if it's the gay or the Italian in me, but I shed tears several times from all the compassion.  I just want to say here and now thank you to each and every person who reached out to me over the past several days.  Having every single one of you in my life is a blessing that I cherish!

That being said, I am a firm believer that this isn't all luck, and thus this teacher's advice to any of you reading.  You always get back what you give, and I like to think that the love and support that I give to anyone in my life is what I am feeling back right now.  I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I think I'm someone who's heart is always in the right place and, well I think I'm a fun person to be around, too, so...

So please take heed this little whatever you might call it.  If you're genuine and kind you're going to find that that it will come back to you tenfold.  I am proof of that.  If you don't behave this way, well, karma can be a bitch.  There's not nearly enough kindness in the world, so if you want to feel the love like I have these past few days, then you've got to give it!   

 

Good Riddance to a Former Friend and a Conservative Hater

It happened, something that I really hoped wouldn't, but it did. After about seven months of President Trump, I finally lost a Facebook friend over my political views and to me it epitomizes the state of our world, and our United States, today.  It's sad that things have come to this, but I, like many others, are beginning to lose my patience with some of these people.  

Though I do have strong political views, I'm always very careful about what I share and where. Sure, every once in awhile I will write a post on here, but that's rare. As for social media, I use Facebook and Twitter for different purposes. Twitter is where I post a lot of the political stuff I read, as well as making comments concerning news and politics (you can see my Twitter feed on the bottom right-hand side of this page). I haven't many friends there, mainly followers (around 1800 of them, too!), and so that's my politico go-to.

Facebook, on the other hand, is a place where I interact with people I've known from all facets of my life.  Because of this, the only real political actions I perform there involve liking a post here and there. On occasion I will share something, but normally without commentary.  There's no need to ever rile anybody up, especially in these times.  I never try to engage anyone there out of the fear of creating animosity or even worse, public argumentation. That way, I keep my friends, regardless of their political affiliation.  I mean, they are friends for a reason, right?  I do have a few friends out there who do post political stuff from the other side, and when I do read what they write, it often takes great restraint not to engage. Thus the case with this so-called friend.

I'm going to call her JD.  She used to be a fellow writer on Associated Content and Yahoo Voices, and we got to know each another through there, commenting on one another's pieces and such.  For quite a few years, JD and I interacted a lot.  She is s talented writer, and eventually we became FB friends.

Though I never was aware of her political views before, her page clearly showed that she had abandoned liberal ideals in favor of conservative ones during the last election cycle.  That's putting it mildly, really, because from her posts you could see the transformation from her previous, likable demeanor towards a brash, in-your-face, outright liberal basher.  Her posts often made me grimace, but out of respect for friendship, I always just kept on scrolling.

About two months ago, JD posted this to her page:

This post disturbed me, and the comments that followed, including phrases like locked and loaded'and oh, they're gonna find out what real anger is, really got my blood boiling.  Those remarks were her own replies to her friends' own incendiery remarks on the post made it all just totally appalling to me.  I didn't know what to do, so at first I saved it and then sat on it for awhile.  I so much wanted to engage JD on this because to me this was serious stuff.  Advocating Civil War? For Donald Trump?  Pretty scary if you ask me.  

I decided to report the post to Facebook.  I didn't really care if she found out or not, but I thought this was too disturbing to leave alone.  Within a week, Facebook contacted me to let me know that the post didn't infringe on any of their rules.  Sigh!  More about this another time...

So after this incident, which happened in May, JD and I continued to be on one another's friends lists, but hardly interacted.  I believe that she unsubscribed to my feed a long time ago when she saw my political leanings, but I kept hers on mine.  It's always a good idea to know how the other side is thinking.  Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer, you know.  

So just yesterday, JD posted something about how George Soros, liberal-leaning millionaire, was behind the whole Charlottesville thing.  My jaw dropped, but as per my own way of acting on FB, I said nothing, but I did see that there were like 60 comments, so I began to peruse them.  There was this one guy, another liberal friend of hers, who challenged her theory, asking for facts, to which she had none.  He was polite and non-threatening in his remarks and he even posted links to prove some of the points he was making.  

The now-famous right-wing talking points came up...libtard, snowflake, fake news, blah, blah blah, and every time she responded with a very condescending attitude, name-calling and at one point she even told him to f**k off.  The guy never lost his cool, though.  I've gotta give him credit for that.  He even mentioned in one of his comments that if he was so wrong, then why did some of her friends like his comments.  (I was one of them!)  She had nothing to back up her claim.  

Next thing you know, she posted one of those word boxes that are so popular these days saying that she was itching to clean her Facebook of dumb-ass liberals and how she wanted to get her friend count down to 1,000.  Who's she trying to impress?   A couple of hours later I received a notice that I had lost a friend.  Guess who?  Ah well!  F**k off  JD!  

Vaguebooking Explained

Traveling down, this road
Watching the signs as I go
I think I'll follow, my heart
It's a very good place to start...

Vaguebooking: the act of making a Facebook post that unwittingly confuses people. (The term is coined by my pal Tim M.)

I haven't always made the best decisions in my life, and I'll always be the first to admit it. Oftentimes, bad decisions can lead to crises in your personal life, your financial life, your work life, etc., and I've got a track record to prove I haven't always followed the right signs.  I was never fortunate enough to have been taught from a young age all of the dos and don'ts of making sound financial decisions. Neither of my parents were ever very good with money and so I sort of picked up right where they left off.

Unfortunately, in this 'great,' capitalistic culture of ours, we learn from an early age to covet things we don't need and are encouraged to pay for them with plastic.  It's a dangerous game in which unwitting pawns (many of us!) end up so deep in holes that climbing out of them often seems like an impossible task.  From when I got my first job at Sterns Department store at the age of 19, I was handed my first credit card and thus began years of bad financial decision making and the digging of a deep hole I've been fighting to get out of for pretty much my whole adult life.  

I'd like to think that I am in "the know" now.  In the eight years since I became single again, I've had no choice but to tighten my belt some and choose better signs as I went.  But of course the inevitable car and house repairs, Christmases and birthdays, and many other unexpected expenses always seem to come up and they either gobble up what little I've managed to save or force me to take out the plastic again, leaving me still clawing to get out of that hole I began digging up so long ago.  

Once in awhile, admittedly, I still lapse into bad decision-making.  Shopping therapy, dinners with friends, or taking little trips are the occasional pleasures I allow myself in to escape the other problems in life, but they always leave me feeling worse about myself and of course still stuck in the mire.  When you're in the situation I am in, you tend to think sometimes whether it's really worth it to scrimp and save and deprive yourself of everyday pleasures because you've got bills to pay, or just say "screw it" and enjoy.  After all, who cares if I die owing money?

I've started the new year...well really the last couple of months of last year, making real progress.  I'm tired of having money for one day, on pay day, and then being broke for the next thirteen days till I get paid again.  I want to be able to enjoy my life a little with the decent money I do make.   I want to be debt free, and I'm getting there, which brings me to the whole point of this post...

I made a Facebook post earlier in the day that went a little something like this:

Just had to make a really difficult decision, one that I probably wouldn't have made in the past, but I have to believe that it's the right one and it'll make me better off in the end.

I didn't think anything of it when I wrote it.  I'd taken a short break during the school day and wanted to let out a little pride in this particular sign I followed.  Little did I even realize I was vaguebooking!

Throughout the next four hours of work, my phone lit up like a Christmas tree, seemingly every five minutes.  People were commenting on my post, texting me, and sending me private messages on Facebook.  A lot of people thought I'd quit my job.  Others were just worried that something bad had happened to me.  I tried to fend off the worriers by making a second post, but to no avail:

Wow, looking at the responses to my earlier post, I can see that my vagueness caused people to think something super-serious was going on. No worries! It was just a personal decision on something that I wouldn't ordinarily make and though I'm a little disappointed, I'm also proud of myself for my ability to take control. Again...no worries.

The notices kept coming.  People shared inspirational videos with me, made offers to talk, all kinds of things.  Finally, I commented that I would make a blog post to explain it all and voila!  Here we are.

You see, I'd actually been waiting to post here that I was going on my school's Europe trip again this spring.  Last year's trip was awesome, and up until a few days ago, I would have been rejoining two of my favorite people on a brand new adventure.  My participation in this year's trip had been iffy all along, but at Christmas break I submitted my information to the tour company and I was all set...or so I thought.  

With tensions over the Paris terrorist attacks a short time ago, several parents expectedly pulled their kids out of the trip and so I received a call on Tuesday that I was no longer needed as a chaperone.  If I still wanted to go, I'd have to pay a nominal, yet decent portion of the price in order to remain with the group on the journey.  Here's where the vague post comes in...

If this had all happened just a few short months ago, I know I would've jumped on it. From the moment I was given the news, in my head I was going to pay the money and go.  Something nagged at me, though. When I told my friends the news that very same evening, I could tell from their reaction that they still thought I was going to go.  They know me well!  

That got me to thinking about what the consequences would be.  Though the amount is still a fantastic price to pay for such a cool jaunt, it was still money, precious money.  Combined with what I would probably spend while I was over there, I'd be at least a few inches deeper in that hole when the trip was all said and done, and with summer fast approaching, I'd have to possibly cut, or at least curtail, some plans so that I could just survive those two months without pay. 

I mulled the whole thing over during the next couple of days, not really discussing it with anyone.  In the back of my head, I knew what I should do and that was to say no.  And so early this morning, sometime before that Facebook post, I passed on the opportunity.  Of course there were mixed emotions in the aftermath of my decision.  I was...am...sad that I'm going to miss out on this year's adventure. But on the other hand, I am proud of myself that I made a decision out of character for me, and in doing so I get to stay within my forecasted striking distance of getting out of this hole.  That's why I posted what I posted today.

So to all of my friends out there who showed their concern, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. It makes me feel so good that so many of you genuinely care about my well-being and I am touched by you reaching out to me.  I also want to apologize for my vaguebooking. I truly did not realize that you would have no idea what to make of what I wrote and would take it negatively.  Yeah, it's a bummer that I won't be going to Europe this April, but at least I know that I do indeed have the mettle in me to follow a good sign when I see one, even if it makes me a little sad.  Who knows, maybe this decision will bring me a little bit of confidence that I can reach goal and start living life a little more easily down the road.

     

Five Days Auto-correcting

Well, it is almost a week since I've posted or even looked at Facebook, or Twitter or Instagram.  Five days to be exact.  Just two more days and I'll have made it a whole week.  I'm doing this in an attempt to "auto-correct" myself a bit in the hopes that in the future I'll be making better use of my free time and not wasting it by looking at how wonderful or miserable some people's lives are, learning about the latest tragedy or even chuckling at a semi-funny video of some cat dancing.

It hasn't been easy and even now I am tempted to check out the "21" notifications waiting for me when I click on the Facebook icon, but I will continue until Thursday just to say I've done it.  That video I posted a week or so ago really hit home with me, and I know that part of the reason I get stressed out so much over having too much to do and never getting it done is that I waste too much time on the 'social network.'

So for any of my Facebook friends who may read this (these posts are automatically posted over there!), yes, I've been staying way on purpose, and I'll be back soon.  But I do hope that some of you will take a look at that video sometime and give it a shot, as well.  I can't honestly say that my life has been more productive these past five days because of it, but really it feels pretty good to not feel like I have to click "like" on something or make a comment on somebody's cute picture of their kid.  Yeah, that stuff takes up a lot of time.  

I really do enjoy it, but sometimes it's just too much and I want to make a statement.  Life is too short and I don't want to look back and say I wasted the equivalent of four years of my life looking at not only Facebook, but Twitter and Instagram, as well.  Just two more days...

Then, who knows?  Can I keep it all to a minimum and maybe get back to living?  We shall see...

Auto-Correcting Myself?

Do you ever talk to anybody about your depression?

That was my friend Frank earlier tonight, via Facebook messenger.  It was a private message to me, but it may as well have been a public one.  His words were in response to a new profile picture I had posted earlier today...the one you see above, which was actually taken two years ago.  I posted it simply because I wanted a change from my old picture, and there aren't any new ones I've taken lately, so voila.  Only what I hadn't realized was that the look of the picture reflected the mood, or the aura, that's been surrounding me lately, especially tonight, in this moment, and maybe I unknowingly put it up there for a reason.  

There was another friend of mine who commented on the same picture earlier than Frank.  He said that he didn't like it, that the look on my face wasn't a happy one like so many of the others I've put up in the past.  Well, now that it's there and I realize it sends a message I want to send, I am going to leave it until whatever dark cloud that permeates my aura and my mind goes away.

Maybe I am depressed.  Feeling sorry for myself?  Not really this time around.  I've just been questioning life in general a lot lately, especially after the deaths of two young people I was somewhat connected to, both just yesterday, and for no apparent purpose.  I think I've lost faith, faith in the world, faith in a Higher Being, faith in my fellow man, faith that doing good will get you good. 

When things are going bad, every little thing exacerbates the problems.  There've been a lot of things in my life lately that have done just that, and I don't know how to fix them and so I feel somewhat hopeless.  I feel stagnant, stuck in the mud I know I've partially created and not knowing how or not seeing any way out of it.  And the mud permeates every facet of my life, from work to home to my relationships with friends and family and my lack of finding my other half.  

Yes, it sucks, but I'm not putting this out there for anyone to feel sorry for me.  Writing is actually therapy for me, and even though I leave myself vulnerable by doing this, maybe someone out there will read this and know they're not the only ones feeling these feelings, and that's a good thing!  

I think subliminally I posted that picture because I've been thinking of taking a total break from Facebook and other so-called "social media," and the picture in a way shows my disdain for this so-called reality that is not all that real.  Ever since I posted that video on "Auto-Correcting Humanity" the other day (which, by the way I shared with my students), I've been doing a lot of thinking on the subject.  

The problems with humanity today that are discussed in the video are all very real and sadly very widespread throughout our society.  People don't relate to one another in personal ways like they used to, but relate instead to that tiny little thingamajig in their hand rather than the person right in front of them. 

In discussions with other people about the video, I've found that I've gotten plenty of nods, as if to acknowledge the problems that exist.  But no one seems to want to change.  Including myself.  I find it monumentally difficult to change.  Yes, I've lost faith in my fellow man, but can I gain it back again for myself, as well?  

I realize this is part of what burdens me, what this one or that one posted on Facebook, questioning the meaning behind a text, how many likes did I get for my picture on Instagram, how many followers I've gained and lost on Twitter...so many things.  Social media does have a purpose, and a good one at that, but it should never get in the way of living.

Maybe a way out of the mud would be to change my online habits, even a little bit.  In conjunction with what I learned about not stressing over the little things from my conversation with the same Frank a couple of weeks ago and seeing a connection between my darkly clouded mind and spending so much of my precious time wasted on my virtual "connections" to the world, I want to pull back in a meaningful way.  I'm not sure when or how long or what form that will take, but soon.  

Though I will pull back from Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and all things cell phone for a spell, I will continue to post here.  After all, I'm working on a life story...

Stay tuned...   

Auto-Correcting Humanity? - Yeah!

Do you know that the average person spends 

around four years of his life looking down at his cell phone?

washingtontimes

A friend of mine shared this video with me recently, telling me that she couldn't help but think of me when she watched it. You see, I instituted a new rule in my class this year concerning cell phones. As you can imagine, these devices have become a huge distraction in the process of teaching and learning and kids are not the only ones affected by it.

So many I's, so many selfies,

not enough us's and we's

You see, technology has made us 

more selfish and separate than ever! 

This year, my new rule aims to curb that huge distraction that comes with texting and Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat and Instagram, and all of the other things that have become the new, sad norm to how we socialize with each other. When a student is caught using their cell phone in my classroom without permission, all of the students in the class must hand theirs in for the period, not just the student in question.  The end result is the students' anger is towards the one person who committed the offense and not me, thereby curbing the use of the tiny handheld computers that are so, well, everywhere!  I've been sharing some of my biggest takes on Facebook...

Cell phones and iPads and such have become a problem not only for our children learning in school, but for all of us.  That once faraway notion of virtual reality has slowly but surely creeped up into the very backbone of our collective psyches and I think it's all for the worst...

We sit at home on our computers

measuring self-worth by numbers of 

friends, followers and likes.

Back to the video...I watched the entirety of the three minutes and twenty seven seconds of truth that day, not once, but several times, every word attesting to the sad truth that has become our society and our world today.  Although I've attempted to curb the problem in my classroom, it doesn't stop with children. We're all guilty of much of what is said in the video, including myself.

The attention span of the average adult today

is 1 second lower than that of a goldfish.    

I believe that, unfortunately.  I see firsthand everyday, and I know you all do, too, how people are consistently distracted by the little electronic device in their hand.  At parties, during bowling night, and even at times when I'm spending time with just one other person, attention is never 100% on the here and now.  There's always one eye and one ear out for a ring or a chime or a flash on a screen to tell us that somebody poked us or another want to be our "friend."  It's pretty sad, no?

Anyway, I have already begun to try to do my part in making it better before it's too late.  My Facebook visits, and posts have decidedly become less, and so has my activity on Twitter and Instagram.  If it weren't for sharing these posts in those places, I'd probably be daring enough to say that that would be it for awhile, even if for a week.

So anyway, take a look and a listen to what this dude has to say.  That is, if you could keep your attention on it for that long.  He makes a lot of sense!  Perhaps all of this is part of what I said that I was beginning to get onto something here the other day.  Maybe part of what keeps my mind so occupied and so stressed all the time has to do with my own affliction for social media.  I should post a picture of this great dinner, or I gotta answer that notification.  Ugh!  Maybe making a conscious effort to curb my online habits will leave me time for more important, and real, things to do with my time.  Can it hurt that much?  We shall see...  

Dear Facebook, I'd Like to Report a Problem

Dear Facebook,

You're killing me!  I'm at a point where I am totally exasperated and dealing with you has been as frustrating as dealing with any other giant corporation in this country.  Communication, when it's for my own benefit, is nil, but when you want or need something I'm all ears.  I don't think that's fair!

You see Facebook, I run a blog...this one right here.  I know it's not much, but it does get some attention and I'm pretty proud to have created it.  One of the ways I get my blog posts out into the world is to share them on my Facebook timeline...I have a lot of friends there, but lately you've been not so nice about that.  I reported a problem with the photo selection that you choose to place with my posts, which almost always have absolutely nothing to do with the content of my post, and yet you have not responded to any of my 4-5 "report a problems," nor have you fixed anything.  Just take a look at what came up with this morning's blog post on your site:

Take a look at the title of the blog post.  It says, "John's World New Wave Month Song of the Day #1 - Private Idaho - The B-52s."  The B-52's!  Justin Bieber!  Really?  Ridiculous, no?  And here's a little irony for you...

Two days ago I received an email from Networked Blogs, which is an app on Facebook to which I added my blog a couple of years ago.  The email was titled, "Your blog widget is being updated."  Here's the content of the email, with the words relating to the irony boldened:

 Hi John

Your NetworkedBlogs widget just got a free new feature. We're glad you're using our widgets to grow your followers, and starting today the widgets will help you get more people to share your posts as well.  

When someone views your blog post, what do they notice first? Naturally, the big beautiful picture that you have in the first half of it. You have nice pictures in your posts, don't you? Pictures attract the eye, and often get noticed even before the title. On Facebook, for example, pictures get twice as many comments as links.

Starting today, the NetworkedBlogs widget enables your readers to share images from your blog to their social networks, with a link back to your post. It's a great way to get referrals and additional traffic. This Crosspost feature is now embedded in NetworkedBlogs widgets thanks to our sister product, Symphony. It's totally free, and you're gonna love it!

I know that Networked Blogs is not Facebook, but it is often run in conjunction with the giant social network, and they're saying what I believe and live by with John's World.  One of the reasons I like writing a blog is that I can post pictures to go with the post, and yes, pictures do attract readers.  So why would anyone interested in The B-52's want to click on something with Justin Bieber on the cover?  Huh?  I hate to even think this, but I may just have to leave Facebook once and for all if this doesn't change.  I'm sorry, I really am! 

      

Okay Facebook, Now I Am Pissed!

Okay now, so this is war.  I haven't ranted in a long time, but I am fed up with Facebook!  You see, I've been having this problem with my posts to this blog and sharing them on that site, and it's costing me page views, along with giving people something to chuckle at at my expense.  I just reported the issue for the 4th time.  The first three times I tried were not answered.  Take a look at this screen shot I took of my Song of the Day post from this morning:

I joked about it on the Facebook link.  That's all I can do these days, as many of my friends have been commenting how funny this has been.  Well it's not funny to me!  Take a look at a couple more from yesterday:

Since yesterday was Flashback Friday, I hadn't even thought of posting an older love song for Valentine's Day, and so I reposted Songs of the Day from Valentine's past on Facebook in the hopes of generating some page views.  Look at the photos Facebook chose for me to go along with my posts.  Don't you think people would be more likely to click on these posts if there were pictures of Sade and Whitney Houston were attached?  Both pieces had appropriate pictures, yet for whatever reason Facebook chose these two ridiculous ones. Grrrrr!!!!!  Here are two more...

At this point, I don't know what to do.  All I can hope is that Facebook will look at the issue and fix it.  I mean, even if I had the option of posting no thumbnail to the post that would be better than this.  What pisses me off even more is that Facebook seems it's okay to do things when its to their financial benefit.  They're always changing their app, and almost always it's advertising creeping in.  

My friend was telling me the other day that she had been looking online for a red wool coat she wanted to buy, and a little while afterwards, guess what happened?  Red wool coats started appearing on her Facebook "news feed."  I tell ya, a free market economy is not good for anybody when our own browsing is not safe from the prying eyes of "social networks."  

Facebook was a great thing for a long time, and still is in its own way, but it's gotten way too commercial for anyone's good, and who knows, I may soon find myself away from it for good.  So let's see what they post with the link to this piece when I share it.  In the meantime, if you are a FB friend of mine, please click the "like" button or leave a comment and maybe someone over there will pay attention.  Thank you!

Daniel Martinez' Open Letter to Chief Justice Roberts

I have a friend that I follow on Facebook who shares some of the most interesting and insightful stories, particularly ones that involve LGBT issues.  His name is Dane B. McFadhen and earlier today he posted a story on a 12 year-old boy, Daniel Martinez-Leffew, that I'd like to share here.

advocate

Daniel resides in Northern California with his two adoptive dads and younger sister.  With the Supreme Court about to hear cases concerning California's Prop 8 and the Defense of Marriage Act, or DOMA, Daniel felt compelled to write to Chief Justice John Roberts, who recently adopted two children of his own.

Like Dane says in his post, I will not give away what he says, but instead allow you to take a look and a listen to this sweet, charming and clever young man.  Daniel, you rock!

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January 31st, 2012 - Make Someone's Day!

Sometimes even the smallest of kind gestures towards someone in your life can go a long, long way. Take a second today to say hi or give a kind word to someone who you appreciate having in your life, just to let them know you're thinking of them. It just might make their day! Happy Tuesday!

This was a little something I wrote this morning to post on my Facebook page. It was borne out of a realization I had last night after talking to my friend Rich and carried on through during several contacts I had with people afterwards. As I mentioned here on Sunday, I've been feeling like I've been in a funk lately, and even though I know that these lows always eventually run out, when I'm experiencing them it's difficult to imagine how and when it's going to end.

Then, like always, it's something small and sudden that can do it, like one of the gestures I speak of in my Facebook status. A series of small interactions with special people in my life began on Sunday night and by Monday night I felt a lot better. I thought of the Pink song, "Glitter in the Air":

Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?
You're whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone

Living alone can be really tough sometimes. Though I enjoy solitude on occasion, sometimes I hate it, and like everybody else, I sometimes need that phone to ring or that message to come through on Facebook to prove that I'm really not alone. When these things do come, somehow I am always stronger for it, happier. I need it and I think we all do every once in awhile.

So look up and read the quote again. Think of someone in your life who you think might be missing you and give them a call, send them a message, and say hi. I promise it'll go a really long way. You might even just make their day!



Image Source: Heart of a Gypsy

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Thanksgiving Thanks - Facebook and Writing

Good evening everyone! I’ve been on a real time crunch lately and that still carries true for the moment, but I wanted to catch up on my Thanksgiving Thanks real quick. I missed Writing Wednesday yesterday and I’ve decided to catch up on that next week since there really wasn’t too much put out there this week. So without further adieu…



I’m thankful for Facebook

Facebook is used by a lot of things for a lot of people and I know a few who would never go near it, but I think that Facebook is great! As a traveled person who’s been through a lot of different jobs and roles in my life, Facebook is an awesome way to keep up with people who you wouldn’t necessarily keep up with in a normal life.

Nowadays I get to communicate with people from my childhood, from school, from my former job at Citibank and my current one at school, and I even stay in touch with former students through the site. I’m a regular Facebook user and I think that my friends are just as happy that I’m still in their lives in much the same way I’m in theirs, and for that I’m grateful!

I’m thankful for my writing talents

No matter what people think of my writing abilities, I’ve discovered over the past few years that I do have some sort of talent for the written word. Beginning with the old Associated Content and then with Y!CN, Examiner, Gather, Textbroker and this blog, I’ve built up a respectable following so I must be doing something right.

Whether or not I will ever write that first book or become a full time writer someday, I can be satisfied and proud that I’ve used my talents thus far to make some sort of dent in the world, and so I’m as grateful for this talent as I am for my talents as a teacher!

Well, I think I’m all caught up now. This is turning out to be harder than I thought, but I’m sure I will still be able to find at least 20 more things that I’m thankful for. I’m off for the next three days and so I’ve got plenty of time to think…and of course, dance! Have a good one everybody!

Here's another old pic I scanned recently...silly face, but I kinda like it for some reason!



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October 24th, 2011 - A Facebook Cleanup: Hating Haters

Well it’s Monday night, and a very chilly one at that. This morning’s temperature when I walked out the door was a frigid 40 degrees…way too cold for October! Anyway the day was beautiful but the cold air has settled in once again, and I am looking forward to snuggling up in bed with lots of layers on me and above me. Oh, it’s gonna be so hard to get up in the morning!



A Facebook Friends Cleanup

I did something today I’d been thinking about for awhile, ever since I started seeing those “I’m cleaning out my friend’s list…and you should do this or that for me not to delete you…” posts. Well, I’m not sure what spurred it on today, but I just started getting really tired of certain ‘friends’ of mine and decided to start a little cleanup of my own.

I have to admit, at 409 friends as of this morning, I’ve definitely got more people on my list that I should. Yes, in the past I’ve requested people who I’ve thought were cute or popular or both, and many of them just accepted because that’s just what they do: take on anybody and everybody just to build up their friend number so they can say (or think!) they are popular. Well, even though I’ve had several people on my list like that, I do have many, many others who I am really friends with from my travels, and that’s why I enjoy the site so much. These folks not so much.

I’ve also made some friends on Facebook, as well, as I try and interact with anyone on my wall who posts anything of interest to me. I’m just like that. I even had a FB-only friend offer to help me out back in February when I had that stalker problem. He’s actually a funny guy and I’ll probably never meet him face to face, but I’d miss him if he was gone.

I like it also when I get a “like” from someone I don’t know on a “Song of the Day” or even a comment once in awhile. ..to me that’s how you really make friends on Facebook, and folks like that I plan on keeping. But there are plenty of folks who never interact with me, even though I’ve placed comments on their posts or just “liked’ em’. To me, that's just rude...why'd you even friend me in the first place? Oh, that's right!

I finally came to the conclusion that I no longer need these people on my Facebook page just to make it look like I’ve got a lot of friends. I posted this earlier this afternoon:

I'm thinkin I need to clean up my friends list, starting with the self-absorbed narcissists...it's not how many 'friends' you have, but the number of real ones you got!

And so I did…I went through my friends list trying to find people that fit that description. I deleted 10 of them so far and it actually felt good. There are more, but for now I think some of them might be worth keeping, and so I’ll just keep my eye on things for awhile, and see where I can delete more. In the meantime I think I’m going to tackle some fellow writers who fit similar descriptions. They make up a good portion of my friends list, and so it’s gonna look like I’m not very popular anymore, but who cares!

After I finished deleting these people, I wrote another post:

Uh, bye, bye…I hope you and yourself have a wonderful life together…and please don’t stay in touch! (that last part was inspired by Lily Allen’s “Fuck You”!).

The two posts were well received by real friends, who put plenty of comments and “likes’ to make sure I keep them, lol, and my friend Christie gave me the biggest complement I could have received today. She wrote: “Wow! John I didn’t know you could be so forceful. I LIKE IT!” Me too Christie, me too!

Hating Haters

Another Facebook experience I had today was on a post I saw by one of my Y!CN friends, Ms. Jolie Du Pre (I love that name and I love her!). It was the following photo and caption:



When I saw it on my lunch hour I couldn’t wait to get home to post it, so I saved it on my phone and reposted it on my own wall right then and there. People who know me know that I am no hater and that’s the only thing I do hate is a hater. I think the photo delivers a powerful message to a lot of obvious hypocrites out there and I only wish they all could see it. Maybe some of them will…

Anyway, that’s all she wrote folks. Halloween’s coming and I’m trying to get in the spirit, but… Oh well, maybe I’ll post a Halloween song tomorrow! Goodnight lovers!

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September 26th, 2011 - Facebook Stories; Walmartian of the Day: A Friend No More

Ah, Monday night! I don’t know, there’s something about a Monday night that I like. Maybe because the first workday of the week is now behind me, or that it’s usually at the beginning of the week when I start doing things off right, like working out, eating a nice dinner, and getting things done. Anyway, it’s a short week for me, thanks to Rosh Hashanah, and so instead of four more days, there are only three. Yay!



Facebook

Sometimes I just love Facebook. There’s just something about it that I get a kick out of, whether it’s having great mini-conversations with people I wouldn’t ordinarily get to talk to, reading funny posts that make me smile, and just staying in touch with people I like (and sometimes not!). Anyway, there’ve been a few cool things happening on Facebook recently that I figured I’d share.

Facebook at a Price? Nah!

Yesterday, the latest FB rumor was making its rounds, this time saying that beginning today they were going to start charging a monthly fee for the use of the site. This all had to do with the monumental changes being made to the site, which by the way I’m kind of excited and not so excited about. I have to admit, some of the posts I read had me believing it, but I was skeptical at best.

There was even a post going around saying that you had to repost the post before this morning in order to not get charged a $9.99 monthly fee. Yeah right! Any who, right before I was going to copy and paste the post to my status I came across this article that finally made sense of it all. The title grabbed my attention:

No, Facebook will not make you pay to get the new profiles

The piece, written by Mashable Social Media’s Ben Parr, reposted some of the idiotic statuses that were being circulated and then proceeded to clear the air, which of course, is that Facebook is not going to begin charging fees to use their site. Whew!

My good friend and fellow writer Sherri Thornhill mocked the ridiculousness today with a status which I reposted to my own page. I think it is a perfect way to put those idiotic rumors to rest:

On September 31st, 2011 Facebook will start charging you for your account. To avoid this, you MUST get NAKED, stand on your dining room table and do the Macarena, all the while singing ”I Will Survive”. After filming and posting it to your Facebook wall and YouTube, then, and only then, will Mark Zuckerberg come down your chimney to tell you that your account will stay free. Pass it on, it must be true because someone on Facebook I hardly know told me!

I love it!

A Facebook Blast from the Past

Here’s one of those things I love about Facebook. On Saturday, I received a friend request from someone I hadn’t seen in years. He was a guy that grew up on my block and I’ve known him since I was 8 years old. His name is Marc and I haven’t seen him or heard from him since we were in our late teens/early twenties (a long time ago!).

When I saw the friend request I couldn’t help but smile. How cool is it that you can reconnect with people in such a way? Anyway, we’ve had brief correspondence since Saturday, but I’m sure that we will definitely be chatting some more. Ah, so ,many memories!

A Facebook Joke

Now FB is not usually a place where I would find a good joke, but tonight my pal Bessie posted something that perked my interest. It began…

After nearly 50 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband, begin to massage her in ways he hadn't in quite some time. It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back.

I read on:

He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down, stopping just over her stomach. He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, working down her side, passing gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. ... Then, he proceeded up her thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent. As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, 'Honey, that was wonderful. Why did you stop?' To which he responded: 'I found the remote'

Now that was funny!

Walmartian of the Day

Mondays are going to be Walmartian Mondays from here on in. For the record, I never shop at Walmart and judging from the real life pictures I’ve seen (and will share!), the only thing I’m missing is some nausea from looking at some pretty disgusting fellow customers. Just check out this hot tomato:



Eeeeewwwww!!!!

A Friend No More

Last week I told you about a surprise visit I was getting from Johnny’s old friend Kona. Well, I haven’t mentioned it til now, but as of this moment, Johnny’s done. He and Kona last had contact on Wednesday, when they made plans to get together for dinner on Thursday in the city, but that was it! Johnny got home from work early, showered and changed for his trip into the city and….nothing! Kona simply disappeared. Oh no, she didn’t fly home or anything. He could see from her FB posts that she was indeed in the city, and now she’s on Long Island, but for whatever reason she chose not to follow through on her plans with Johnny and that’s that!

From the little he knows about her personal life, he knows that she’s always had a way of alienating people around her, and she finally did it to Johnny, for whatever reason. Now he can’t wait to write the newest episode of the Johnny Driver series…

Well that's all she wrote folks. Time to hit the shower and then the pillow! Have a great Tuesday and I'll see some of you on Facebook! Ciao!

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February 11, 2011 - Daily thoughts...Anticipation and Facebook problems

Happy Friday! Today was a long day and I’m looking forward to some much needed sleep. True to my own word, I didn’t go dancing tonight even though I thought about it for a hot second. It’s been a long, draining week all around and even though I’m still harboring some sadness, I’m slowly getting back to my life as it was before. I guess the way things ended this time left me with feelings other than sadness which has definitely made it easier, and for that I’m grateful.

Waiting for Relief




At the moment I’m waiting for Tuesday, when I have an appointment to have a couple of teeth pulled. I’ve been suffering with pain for several weeks now and the pain’s been so bad at times that instead of being nervous about the extractions, I simply can’t wait to get this over with so the pain will go away. I’ve been swallowing aspirin like its candy and it doesn’t even always help.

Facebook Problems

Today was hopefully the culmination of a problem I’ve been having with Facebook over the past couple of weeks that I hadn’t even realized I had. About a week ago, a friend of mine sent me an email telling me that he thought my FB account had been hacked. That was all he said, and he put it in the subject line of the email. Though I wondered aloud what it could be, I didn’t really put too much thought into it as the email was so vague and I’ve gotten spam using the names of people I know before. Besides, I hadn’t noticed anything irregular about my FB page.

An hour later I got another email from a fellow writer and FB friend. She told me that she’d been chatting with someone who claimed to be me earlier that morning and that he said I was in London and had just gotten mugged. He was asking for money. She immediately became suspicious and sent me the warning.

Upon reading this second message, I immediately contacted Facebook. I changed my password and followed other precautions that they advised me to follow and I thought my account was good. I went about my regular FB activity in the ensuing days.
Today I began to realize that something strange has been going on with FB ever since, and I decided to check into it more thoroughly. For the past week or so, I’ve received no comments on any of my posts, not even any “likes”, which is very unusual. In fact, when I posted that I had made Yahoo’s Hot 500 yesterday, I got no replies. When I did the same a couple of weeks ago (when I made the Top 1000 for 2010), I received more than 20 comments. Something was definitely wrong!

I checked with a couple of coworkers to see if they’d seen any of my posts on FB and as I suspected, they hadn’t. When they clicked on my profile, they got a message saying “no recent posts found by this user.” That couldn’t be because I had just posted a video there last night. Once again I contacted Facebook, and all I got back was a message saying that they couldn’t respond to individual trouble items and that I should check their listings of “known issues,” which I did.

It took one of my students, an 8th grader, to figure out the problem I was having. He told me to try and post a status on my page through my iPhone, which I did. Lo and behold, as my student said, there was a little lock symbol at the bottom and when I touched it, a popup menu came up that showed that all of my posts were only viewable by me. All I had to do was switch it to “friends only” and voila! Problem solved.

Apparently, when I changed my passwords a couple of weeks ago, this particular setting had changed, unbeknownst to me. So no one saw all of the statuses I posted on my profile over the past couple of weeks. I wasn’t an outcast after all, thank goodness. I now know that I must keep a closer eye on my FB activities to avoid anything like this happening again. My friend count went down since the problem first occurred and I have to assume it’s because of the fraudulent chatter who stole my FB identity. I hope that my sharing this will help anyone who reads if they ever run into the same problem. I just finished reposting the links to my blog and some YCN articles, as well. I reposted the status of my Yahoo Hot 500 and I’ve gotten several replies, which tells me I’m back to normal. I sure wish I had found all of this out sooner than I did!

Thanks for reading…