August 26th, 2011 - A hurricane and a colonoscopy: loads of fun!

Photo Source: Press TV

Long Island is in the upper middle of the map....yikes!

It’s Friday night and the big storm is looming! Yes, hurricane hysteria is here and I say let’s just get on with it already! I’ve had a pretty crappy couple of days and come hell or high water, I’m going to party tonight…

Ugh, Men!

All week long I’ve been anticipating today’s procedure (a colonoscopy) and yesterday’s, um, prep for it, and so my mind has been somewhat preoccupied from the other issues in my life. I don’t know, but dating men is the last thing on my mind these days…I’m just not feeling it…and yet suitors seem to be coming out of the woodwork for my attention. I’ve never been very good at letting anybody down, and though I’m trying my best, it all just gives me a big headache!

I’m starting to think I may become celibate and not ever seek out anyone for any sort of companionship, sexual, romantic or otherwise. Oh, who am I kidding? Maybe once school starts and all of this weather nastiness is over I’ll be in a better mood and…

Anyway, I’m going to Splash tonight for one last hurrah before the big one arrives sometime tomorrow night and I’m going to do my darndest to have a good time.

Prep Not Fun

Yesterday was the prep for today’s procedure and what everyone told me was spot on! I had to fast the entire day and around six o’clock I had to begin “the prep.” The name of the powdered stuff I had to drink had the word “bowel” in it, so you can imagine what it does. By the time I started it I was so hungry I could have eaten a horse, but I digress…

I had to drink this 16 ounce mixture twice, at six and at then again at two in the morning. My friend Ozzie came by to hang with me beforehand and we went to get me some yum-yums (lime jello and chicken broth! Tempting, right?) to dine on for the evening. Oz was pretty good until after I took the first dose and my stomach started grumbling, and then the little jokes started coming. Sheesh, I know that this particular procedure touches on the more embarrassing things about the body, but… Hehe... Before long I had to kick him out and the rest of the evening was spent….aw, you can just imagine!


Photo Source: Medline Plus

The Colonoscopy

Nancy Lou, who I dedicated today’s “Song of the Day” to earlier, showed up at my house at 10:15 sharp and we headed out to the surgical center in Shirley. I really wasn’t too nervous because I was just thinking of the nice big breakfast he and I would have afterwards. The whole thing lasted about two hours and again, what people told me was dead on. The anesthesia they gave me put me into the most blissful sleep and before I knew it, I was eating Lorna Doones and drinking a can of fruit juice, groggy in my bed.

I had a polyp, which was removed, and justified my going for the procedure in the first place. The doctor told me that all polyps eventually become cancerous (in about 10 years), so I’m happy I didn’t wait the four years to have it done.

A Vivid Anesthesiec Dream

I know, I know, anasthesiec is not a word, but since I was under it when I had this weird and vivid dream, I just wanted to use my own made-up word. Any-who, in the dream I was in a nightclub with my mother (very strange!). The club was similar to an after-hours place in Jackson Heights I used to go to years back, like an apartment turned into a disco. We were dancing, something like the Watusi, and I saw ‘him’ and three friends sitting on a chair across the room. He looked over at me and then turned and walked away, down the stairs. I looked over at my mom, who was still getting down, oblivious to the scene and boom, I woke up! So real and so weird!

Irene’s a Comin’

Well it’s been 26 years since we’ve had a major hurricane hit Long Island and this one looks like a sure thing. Wall to wall coverage of it is making everyone frenzied. There’s not a battery or a bottle of water to be had anywhere. Details are sketchy, as they always are with these things, but it looks like we’re right in the track of this thing as of tomorrow night and into Sunday.

Of course, I am a little worried. As I said the other day, I’ve got a lot of old, gnarly trees around my house and even the last thunderstorm that hit us I lost several huge branches. I did a lot of prep work today and I’m going to finish tomorrow by putting all of my plants and loose yard stuff in my garage. I did my shopping, and other than that there’s little I can do but wait and sit it out.

Local municipalities are taking this thing seriously, though. I got a phone call earlier that they are issuing a mandatory evacuation for all points south of Montauk Highway in Patchogue, my town, which is only about a mile and a half from where I live. So even though I don’t have to evacuate, my friend Blanchie does. Yikes! At least we have at least almost another full day to prep, and like I said, all anyone can do at this point is wait it out and hope for the best.

In the meantime, I think I’m going to have a bona fide hurricane party tomorrow night, you know, with lots of booze and a few good friends. Should be a fun way to ring in Irene! Tomorrow’s gonna be a busy day! I’ll keep you posted…

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Personal Diet Secrets

I hate the word diet! Going on a diet brings to mind images of people suffering through the unpleasant experiences of portion-rationing, skipping favorite foods, and consuming eccentric foods that they wouldn't normally eat. Any person who entertains the idea of dieting would fare better by taking a good look at how they arrived at their unwelcome body image in the first place, then committing to changing the habits that got them there.

In my experience, the only true way to achieve the body you desire is to make pledge to changing your adverse body-affecting habits. The key is not only changing your eating patterns, but to also commit to getting some exercise. Only a combination of the two will result in a lasting effect.

There are all sorts of diets out there. Many of them deliver on their promise of weight loss. Unfortunately, though, the weight loss is usually short-lived. The problem with most diets is that they stress the means to lose weight, but don't help to change the habits that will keep the weight off. Yes, the dieter does adhere to some sort of a routine, an eating schedule that can only last for so long.

I learned bad eating habits at a young age. I was always told I was "big-boned". During my formative years, I would spend my afternoons in front of the television eating any kind of cookie or chip I could get my hands on. It wasn't until the tenth grade that I realized I was heavy. One day, in gym class, we were given our yearly physicals. Part of the examination included height and weight measurements. When my weight was read at a whopping 256 pounds, I was devastated.

In the ensuing years, I tried many diets, shedding pounds only to regain them eventually. My self-esteem ebbed and flowed throughout. Although I never reached that weight again, I never attained my ideal body until I realized it wasn't about diets, it was about the desire within me to make some changes. The changes were twofold: change the way I ate and get some exercise.

Tips for Better Eating

- Stay away from fast food Did you ever see the movie "Supersize Me"? If you did, you'd realize that fast food is nothing but poison, threatening both your health and your look. I know we've all indulged in the familiar tastes of Big Macs and Whoppers, but they're not good for us on a regular basis.

- Cook more I've discovered that another contributor to obesity in America is fast food of another sort. Today's supermarkets are filled with foods designed for quick and easy meals that can sit in your freezer for months, to be eaten on a lazy night long after you've forgotten it was even there. Keeping the frozen lasagnas, Salisbury steaks, and pizzas to a minimum is a good thing. Try cooking with fresh ingredients. Take a good look around and you'll see that there are plenty of quick and easy things you can prepare which are much more healthy and tasty to consume.

- Eat regularly - To fend off the hunger impulses, munch on small snacks throughout the day. The key word here is small. If you eat one or two cookies between lunch and dinner, you'll find that you'll be less likely to reach for a second portion of a delicious meal. Maybe even exchange something healthier for the cookie, like a granola bar. Small steps like this one set the tone for a bigger overall change.

- Eat Slowly I was always a fast eater. (The reasons why could be the basis for a whole other topic. As such, I was always able to fit more food into my mouth and stomach before I realized I'd really had enough. I've made a conscious effort to slow it down, and I've found that I've become less likely to reach for seconds as a result.

Get Some Exercise

Exercise, or expending calories, is a must for anyone looking to take weight off and keep it off. I love to eat all kinds of foods. I decided a long time ago that I wouldn't deprive myself of the foods I enjoy just because I wanted to look good. About three years ago, I became turned on to getting off of my couch and getting some exercise by a program I had seen but never watched.

"Gilad's Bodies in Motion", on Fit TV, is a show that's been around for years. It was filmed in the late eighties/ early nineties on the beaches of Hawaii. I soon started to exercise every day with Gilad and his friends. It was fun and not too strenuous. I kept at it and though the results were not immediate, eventually I began to notice results. The show's workout is well rounded and short enough not to be something I dreaded doing. The compliments soon started coming my way, and motivated to keep going.

I've since expanded my at home workouts. It's become a new habit.' As I haven't give up eating the things I love to eat, I can attest to the fact that committing to any exercise is a necessary addition to any diet.' I am 43 years old and in the best physical shape of my life. I only wish I had come to this simple, yet obvious realization sooner.