Ugh, I've been coming back to this post like six or seven times now in the past two weeks. At a time in my life when I finally have time to write and to share, I've got nothing
...well maybe that's not true...
...well maybe that's not true...
Did that make you smile? Cringe? Gasp in horror? Roll your eyes? Well, if this picture caused you to do any of these things, then at least you've taken one moment out of IT. You're welcome!
I took that picture (and a few choice others) a little more than a week ago, as part of a homework assignment I'd given to my students. We were told to get them away from their computers that week (spring break was cancelled in favor of continued distance learning.), so I gave them a little fun project. They had to take one picture a day of how they were experiencing the quarantine and post on it Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, whatever, with a caption for each day of the week. Pretty cool assignment, right?
This Sucks!
I think I speak for most people around the world when I say that this moment we're living in right now absolutely sucks! In all of my years of life on this Earth, and pretty much all of you can say the same thing, I have never experienced such a shitty time to be living. I could deal with it better if only we knew when it was going to end.
Different Shades of Day
I don't know about you, but my days are almost always a roller coaster of emotions. I start everyday with a cup of coffee in hand and I'm at the laptop doing my Song of the Day posts, checking email and working. At that moment, the day is fresh and I'm generally optimistic, especially when the weather's nice. Well, the optimistic feeling is probably because I'm really just occupied with my work and not thinking too much..
Before you know it, morning soon creeps into early afternoon and suddenly the reality of the situation hits me...again. What am I going to do today? What can I do? What should I do? I'm still in my pajamas. Should I take a shower? Make a phone call? Work out? My motivation wanes until it's finally I decide it's time for lunch.
Lunch is done. What to do next? Should I clean out a closet? Work on that book I've always wanted to write? Catch up on some new shows on TV? Go for a walk? Clean a closet? My mood slowly sours as the day wears on and I've spent more time contemplating than anything else. The reality of this daily sameness creeps over me. Before I know it, maybe I've showered and graded a paper or two, but as day turns to early evening, I simply feel like a zombie, merely existing and not living.
Occasionally, I'll have a distance walk date with a friend or an afternoon phone call which'll brighten up my day a bit, or sometimes I'll have a mission, like going to the supermarket or out east on some sort of errand for work. Those days I've got a little more bounce in my step, but underneath it all, there is still despair.
I think my mood swings are not too different from most people. Living alone has definitely affected me in a bad way. On one hand, and I hate to say this, I like being isolated, left to my own devices to do whatever the hell I want to do. On the other hand, though, I feel very alone and very glum, though I have little motivation to reach out and call someone.
I am sure that being stuck with other people must have it's downfalls, too, and I can't imagine it. I've heard marital issues have been rampant, and moms and dads dealing with their kids 24/7 must be driving them crazy. I'd rather be in the situation I am in. It sucks either way!
Give Us This Day Our Daily Walk
The only thing keeping me sane these days is walking...oh, and taking pictures. I like to walk anyway, and these days I have more time to walk longer. Walking is very therapeutic, especially on a nice day. It's also good exercise. I've been averaging between four and six miles a day. Who knows, maybe I'll finally lose a little weight once this is all said and done. Besides, I've been photo journalling my own experiences through this period, and I am actually loving the results. If you're a friend of mine on Facebook, take a look at my Scenes From a Quarantine album. It's pretty cool, I think. Here are a couple of samples:
A distance picnic with my pal Tara
Stormy sea
Teaching my students how to make a face mask
Empty streets
Positivity
Above all of the despair, I am trying to create the positive, like writing once again. I am contemplating moving my blog over to WordPress so maybe I can start earning a couple of bucks. I'm also working on a book, which I will share with you at a later time. Oh, and I'm learning how to speak Italian, too, with Duo Lingo. That's coming along nicely. Finally, I'm saving a lot of money, too. There's not much to spend money on these days...I've only filled my gas tank once in the past month, and so I should be in good shape for the summer, that is if there is a summer.
A couple of months back already, our school trip to Europe was cancelled because of the coronavirus. I remember that day clearly. It was surreal that we had to take that route for something that then seemed so distant then. Now it hovers over us for who knows how long and there's noting but uncertainty and fear ahead. I'm desperately trying to hold on to hopes that I will still be able to take a trip I've been planning to the west coast in July. The prospect doesn't seem likely, but we've still got two months. We shall see.
So another day closes and I will be up until all hours mindlessly watching T.V. Tomorrow another day comes. Another roller coaster to ride. Let's just hope these roller coasters will be like the real ones and give us a shorter ride.
So if you're reading this, I hope you're taking solace that you are not alone. We're all experiencing this in our own ways, and dealing with the ups and downs of every single day. We have to be patient, for one day this will all be a distant memory.
