About ta month ago, I went to Hershey Park with some of my friends, and as we waited on line to buy tickets, I noted the price posted on a sign above the ticket counter. Adult admission: $41.75. I pulled out two twenties and a five and waited for my turn. When I got to the window, the girl at the counter said "$32 even." I was surprised and even stepped back to look again at the sign, thinking perhaps there was a sale I didn't know about. Befuddled, I handed her the two twenties and she gave me my $8 in change.
"Tara, how much did you pay for your ticket?"
"Oh, like 42 bucks or something."
"Dita, what about you?"
"The same."
"Gary?"
"Yup."
"Oh my God, look at your ticket," Tara interjected.
Panicked, I looked down at the ticket in my hand and right there, in the middle, was the word "senior." My worst nightmare had come to the surface. Fuck, I've turned that corner!
A few years back, my friend Rich showed me a recent picture of a co-worker of his whom I've hung out with many times before. I'd always admired this woman, who had immigrated here from Poland many years ago and made a sweet life for herself here in the States. Not only was she a genuine and fun person, I'd always admired how she carried herself, always dressed to the nines and looking fabulous.
Well, the picture Rich showed me of her was not good. She looked old. When I made a face, Rich shot me a knowing glance. She had turned that corner and finally looked her age. Though it shocked and saddened me a little, I was still a few years younger than her, so I didn't worry about it too much...until now.
I've been feeling it a lot more in recent months. Of course working with kids, who are brutally honest, if not too naive, gets you a lot of harsh criticism. Though I know they're joking when they call me viejito or pelon, it only works to make me more self-conscious. Why do people always need to remind you of your faults? Especially the physical ones that you have no control over?
Yup, aging doesn't show mercy on anyone, and it's finally gotten me. With a receding hairline and wrinkles I never had before, I am starting to look, gulp, like a senior. The funny thing is, I don't feel it at all. In my head and in my body (well, most of the time!), I feel like I'm 30. It's not fair!!!
I should have prefaced this post by saying that today is my 55th birthday, so I am feeling it a bit more today. I really stopped looking forward to birthdays a long time ago, but this year is really the shit. The only thing good about today is all of the love I have been receiving pretty much since I woke up this morning.
I'm not going to give up, though. I'm gonna keep taking my vitamins and using minoxidil and face cream and working out because I've still got it. Somewhere inside I've still got it!
