Turning a Corner I Don't Want To Turn

About ta month ago, I went to Hershey Park with some of my friends, and as we waited on line to buy tickets, I noted the price posted on a sign above the ticket counter.  Adult admission: $41.75.  I pulled out two twenties and a five and waited for my turn.  When I got to the window, the girl at the counter said "$32 even."  I was surprised and even stepped back to look again at the sign, thinking perhaps there was a sale I didn't know about.  Befuddled, I handed her the two twenties and she gave me my $8 in change.

"Tara, how much did you pay for your ticket?"

"Oh, like 42 bucks or something."

"Dita, what about you?"

"The same."

"Gary?"

"Yup."

"Oh my God, look at your ticket," Tara interjected.

Panicked, I looked down at the ticket in my hand and right there, in the middle, was the word "senior."  My worst nightmare had come to the surface.  Fuck, I've turned that corner!

A few years back, my friend Rich showed me a recent picture of a co-worker of his whom I've hung out with many times before.  I'd always admired this woman, who had immigrated here from Poland many years ago and made a sweet life for herself here in the States.  Not only was she a genuine and fun person, I'd always admired how she carried herself, always dressed to the nines and looking fabulous. 

Well, the picture Rich showed me of her was not good.  She looked old.  When I made a face, Rich shot me a knowing glance.  She had turned that corner and finally looked her age.  Though it shocked and saddened me a little, I was still a few years younger than her, so I didn't worry about it too much...until now.

I've been feeling it a lot more in recent months.  Of course working with kids, who are brutally honest, if not too naive, gets you a lot of harsh criticism.  Though I know they're joking when they call me viejito or pelon, it only works to make me more self-conscious.  Why do people always need to remind you of your faults?  Especially the physical ones that you have no control over? 

Yup, aging doesn't show mercy on anyone, and it's finally gotten me.  With a receding hairline and wrinkles I never had before, I am starting to look, gulp, like a senior.  The funny thing is, I don't feel it at all.  In my head and in my body (well, most of the time!), I feel like I'm 30.  It's not fair!!!

I should have prefaced this post by saying that today is my 55th birthday, so I am feeling it a bit more today.  I really stopped looking forward to birthdays a long time ago, but this year is really the shit.  The only thing good about today is all of the love I have been receiving pretty much since I woke up this morning.

I'm not going to give up, though.  I'm gonna keep taking my vitamins and using minoxidil and face cream and working out because I've still got it.  Somewhere inside I've still got it! 

An Awesome Weekend of Birthday Fabulousness!

It was a busy weekend.  It was a fun weekend.  It was a weekend full of birthday celebrations from start to finish and it's about freaking time!  It seems like it's been forever since I've enjoyed myself as much as I did this weekend.  The birthdays I helped celebrate all belonged to special people and so this last weekend of February and first into March was one that I'll remember for a long, long time to come.

 

Happy Birthday Manny!

The plan was two trips into the city on Friday and Sunday, with a family birthday party for my nephew Jake sandwiched in between on Saturday.  First up on Friday night was an evening of debauchery for my pal Manny's birthday.  His birthday is actually today, but Monday's not really a good night for going out, and so he, our friend Ozzie and I traipsed into NYC for a little fun with Manny's friends Norberto and Raj at the Fairytail Lounge and then on to Icon in Astoria for a nightcap and some dancing.  I'll spare you any gory details, but let's just say it was great to be with these two friends for such a fun night!

Happy Birthday Jake!

My youngest nephew is a teenager.  My brother's younger son turned 13 years old on Saturday and after spending an awesome day with him seeing Wicked a few weeks back, I was only too glad to spend his special day with him.  Until that jaunt into the city I'd never really spent much time with Jake, and I'm so glad that we took that trip because for the first time I really got to know him as a person.  All I can say about that is he is one awesome kid...um, young man!  Jake, you rock!  Happy Birthday!

  

Happy Birthday Blanchie!

Last, but certainly not least was the best part of my weekend.  You see, tomorrow one of my oldest friends, Bobby, will be joining the '50 Club,' and me and our third Rich treated him to see Kinky Boots on Broadway,  The three of us spent the awesomest of days together in the snow-covered city laughing, dining and enjoying a spectacular show.  Though I consider many of my friends a part of my extended family, these two are my real family, and it was nice to be just the three of us together. The only sucky part was an awful ride home because a murky forecast of snow turning to freezing rain was mostly snow...and a lot of it!  Poor Dita had to drive us for the better part of a two and a half hour ride through unplowed expressway to get home.  That didn't stop the mood of the day, though, as the ride was full of good music and good friends, just like the day had been.

Anyway, since I feel like a lot of the time lately I've been writing about negative stuff (it's been a long winter!), I wanted to share a good time for a change.  So for what it's worth, happy birthday to Manny, Jake and Blanche!  I love you all and I'm lucky to have each of you in my life!

   

A Song of the Day for Mom - Birthday - Katy Perry

On this day 72 years ago, a baby girl was born to Joe and Mary Randazzo in New York City.  The couple named their little girl Joan and they were happy because now they had a boy and a girl to complete their family.  Joan grew up with her parents, her brother Robert, and her grandmother 'Mema' in Harlem, but eventually moved to the Bronx, which was then "the country" and where she spent the remainder of her childhood years and the early part of her marriage before moving to Long Island.  

Growing up, and throughout her life, mom was daddy's little girl, as well as the apple of both Mema and dear old Aunt Vi's eyes.  She learned to love sports through grandpa, how to love unconditionally through her grandma, and how to dress well through Aunt Vi.  Yes, mom is an avid Yankees, Rangers, Knicks and Jets fan and she's the one who passed on that devotion to the rest of us.  I'll get to the unconditional love part below, but I'll also say here that mom has always had a great fashion sense, something which I'm grateful she passed on to me.  With all of that attention from those three, my mom and her mom were never really that close, though like any mother, my Nana loved my mom very much.

Mom graduated from Cathedral High School somewhere in the late 50's.  Cathedral was an all-girls Catholic school and I think maybe that's why, from the stories I've heard, as a teenager mom probably gave my grandparents some stresses along the way with the boys. Back then, Joan was thin and beautiful and I'm sure she got a lot of attention from the guys. Eventually, though, she met, dated and then married the man who would become my dad, George Myers.

Mom and dad lived an up and down marriage for almost 50 years.  Like most relationships, things started out really good at the beginning and then waned as their family grew, but eventually they grew into the sort of familial companionship that so many evolve into over the years.  You see, my dad was a high school dropout and worked as an unskilled laborer in a warehouse in the Bronx.  The job didn't pay too well, I'm sure, and the financial stresses of raising six kids on his salary often made dad grumpy.  To make matters worse, he'd been an only child growing up and so he didn't know too much being a father other than bringing home the bread.  This left mom in the role of being both parents. 

During their marriage, mom and dad produced six children: me, my brother Dave and my four sisters Linda, Ann Marie, Gina and Christine.  Each of us has given mom our fair share of grief and worry over the years, but her unconditional love and caring for us all sowed the seeds of love and admiration we all feel for her in our own ways, whether she knows it or not.  Today her two grandchildren, Nick and Jake, are the newest recipients of grandma's love. 

Overall, mom hasn't had an easy life.  She's survived the loss of her first-born, Kenneth, the struggles of affording to live a financially comfortable life within an oftentimes unhappy marriage, acting as the sole parent and intermediator between dad and us, and she lived for years with a very sick husband.  Through it all, though, her friendly, outgoing, humorous and kind soul earned her a lot of friendships that she's cherished and enjoyed throughout. 

More than five years ago, mom lost her husband, my dad, and his absence within the family unit has left a wound within all of us that's been difficult to overcome.  I can never imagine what she's been going through these past five-plus years, as not only dad left this world, but too her father two years prior and Aunt Vi just two months after.  Losing those three very important people in her life in such a short period of time has to have been difficult, for all of a sudden mom had to depend primarily herself for survival for the first time in her life. She still works, at 72, but I think that's part of what keeps her young.

Mom doesn't always realize how her children feel about her.  No, ours isn't a perfect family, it never has been, but we all know deep within our hearts that mom has always done the best she could in her marriage and as a mother to us.  Throughout our lives, mom has given us so much, laughter and tears, joy and sorrow, and love...lots of love.  So, this song is dedicated to you mom, Happy Birthday and may you enjoy many, many more to come...   

Happy Birthday Mom!

     

A Great Weekend to Ease the Pain

This is a picture I just found in a drawer the other day and posted as my profile picture on Facebook for my birthday.  Pretty appropriate, huh?  Man, when I look at that innocent young face I can't help but wonder whatever happened to that little boy.  The life that was to be laid out before him...Oh man, if I only knew then what I know now.  

So, it's past me now...the big 5-0.  Though I don't feel any different physically (well maybe a little tired from the weekend!), I'm still not thrilled about the whole idea. But whaddyagonnado?  I really couldn't have asked for a better birthday weekend, as I ventured into the city with ten great, great friends and had an absolute blast on Saturday night and then a fun little get together with my family and my pals Rich, Bobby and Vera at my mom's last night.  

To top off all of that fun with people whom I really and truly care about, I received lots of love from my faraway friends on Facebook.  Now I usually get about 60-70 birthday wishes every year, but this year it was more than double that.  And then I was greeted this morning to gifts from a few of my students, one of whom painted and framed an amazing picture for me...

Pretty cool, huh?

Anyway, I just want to say thank you to everybody who made this difficult birthday a little easier to handle, and I especially want to thank Rich, Bobby, Vera, my mom, Kyle, Ozzie and Manny, Gary and Christopher, Al, Dave, Kim, Nick and Jake, Ann Marie, Chrissy, Linda, and Gina.  I love you all and now I can face this new decade knowing that I am loved! 

A Happy Birthday Song of the Day #3 - I'm Addicted - Madonna

Three days, three birthdays... 

Today is the birthday of yet another pal of mine, Sean, who is pictured above on stage with me and, um, Toni Braxton.  That's right, in case you haven't been following me long, you may not know about that Unforgettable Night at a Toni Braxton Show, where Sean and I were mistaken for lovers by the singer and brought onstage so she could serenade us.  That was one heck of a memorable experience and one which he and I will share for as long as we live.  

Sean is one of the first people I met at my bowling league, and I liked him immensely from the moment I met him, and about two and a half years later I can honestly say that he is one of the most easy-going and genuine people I know.  Not only have he and I shared many a great experience together (in addition to Toni), he's also brought me into his circle of friends, another great group of genuinely nice people whose company I always enjoy.

Like me, Sean is a big Madonna fan, only his devotion to the singer is much more intense than mine. Though I've followed Madge since her beginning, Sean discovered her later on in her career and has dedicated so much time and energy on learning and collecting everything he could on her that I'd consider him a superfan.  Here's one of Sean's favorite songs from Madonna's last album, MDNA, and it's one of mine, too!  Happy Birthday Buddy!  

A Happy Birthday Song of the Day #2 - Cry When You Get Older - Robyn

Young boy, by the traffic light
What your daddy never told you
Is love hurts when you do it right
You can cry when you get older

Not only is this Thanksgiving Week, but around these parts it's Birthday Week, as well.  Yesterday was my bestie Rich's birthday and today is the birthday of yet another bestie, Kyle.  Kyle is one of my friends that I know from bowling and we've become pretty close over the past two years or so.  In that short time...well...he and I have gotten to know each other pretty darned well to a point where we stand today.  He is probably the one friend who I spend the most time with and I want to wish him the best of birthdays.

Kyle is a youngin', 25 years old today, and a lot of times I feel like I'm not only his friend, but kinda sort of his mentor, as well.  From what I know of him, Kyle is one of those people who's always found a comfortable spot in hanging around people older and wiser than he, and he not only found myself as one to look up to, but a whole slew of us from bowling, too.  Al, Eric and Rick, Gary, J.C., Eric C., Bobby and Rich, and a whole host of fellow bowlers have all shared in helping to guide this genuine young man through these past few years, and though he doesn't always realize how much he is loved by all of us, he really is a special part of this extended group of friends.

  

Out of all of us, Kyle, myself and our pal Gary have been among the closest, and the trhee of us have shared plenty of good times together, as well, from our Monday night jaunt to Coney Island this summer, to catching up and teaching Kyle the great, great show, Six Feet Under, to gay nights at Great Adventure, P-Town, parties, bowling and more, the friendship that we share as three is a special one, too!

Anyway, last night Kyle was trying to guess which song I was going to post today for his b'day, and though he made some good guesses, he got it wrong.  I realized that although I've spoken about soundtracks of relationships in the past, it's not only romantic relationships that can have a soundtrack.  One of the things that bind he and I together is our love for music, and though we have some differences in our musical tastes, there are certain tunes that we both love, and today's song is one which I believe introduced him to Robyn (via me!) and one that fits this particular day and week for that matter.  I'm not too sure about him, maybe it's too early, but I am certainly crying cause I got older, lol.  Anyway, for what it's worth, Happy Birthday my friend!

A Happy Birthday Song of the Day - Unusual Way - Barbra Streisand

Only on a special day like today would I post a song such as this one.  Today is the birthday of my bestest pal, Rich, and so I am posting Barbra Streisand's Unusual Way, a song that I'd never heard before, but one I'm sure he has a myriad of times over, especially for him.  

Rich and I have known each other for years, but we only became close about seven years ago after Joe and I had split up, and I couldn't be more grateful for his presence in my life.  Rich has helped fill up my past seven years with lots of fun, lots of laughs, and plenty of chit chat about this, that and everything else.  He and I share a lot of mutual interests, such as roller coasters, The Amazing Race and Survivor, Madonna, and so much more, and we never ever run out of things to talk about.

In the next few days I'm going to be posting pieces about the people in my life I am thankful for and Rich is an very appropriate start.  He's not a big fan of attention, but I say too bad Mr. Dit!  I'm grateful to have you for a friend and I look forward to knowing you for the rest of my days.  Happy Birthday buddy!    

A New Decade Awaits

In just one week I will be celebrating a birthday that's long been on my horizon and I am not looking forward to it.  You see, I was born on November 30th, 1964, and so next Sunday I will be turning, gulp, 50.

planetminecraft

I'm getting a feeling that a lot of what I've been going through these past few weeks, being down, Ziggy and all that, has had something to do with this birthday.  While I'm not the only person I know who's going to be that same age, I am probably the only one who's not embracing it, or at least bothered by it.  

I tell my students all the time to enjoy life while you're living it because you're suddenly going to wake up one day and find that you're 30 or 40, and you're going to say to yourself, "holy shit, what the hell happened to my life?"  Just like you do on a Sunday night while reflecting on the weekend that just passed.  Well, 5-0!  Jeez!

Despite that panicked look on my face, I don't look 50, do I?  I don't feel it.  As a matter of fact, someone asked me just last year at my friend Sean's 40th birthday party when I was turning 40.  If we were at a bar I would've bought her a drink.  

So anyway, whether I like it or not, here comes 50.  A new decade of my life awaits.  Let's hope I can keep up my youthful looks for at least a few more years...maybe catch someone before it's too late!

  

Song of the Day - Birthday - Katy Perry

So make a wish 

I'll make it like your birthday everyday 

I'll be your gift 

Give you something good to celebrate

atrl

In the latest of Song of the Day posts for me in like forever, I share with you Katy Perry's awesome Birthday song and video.  I chose this one because this particular week has been full of birthdays on my Facebook feed, seemingly more so than any other week of the year.  So here's a big happy birthday to Donna and Lori, Louis and Maye, Terry and Tom, Dan, Kristian, Jennie, Ken and anyone else out there who might be celebrating a birthday!  Enjoy!

Song of the Day - Raise Your Glass - Happy Birthday P!nk!

Happy Birthday P!nk!  You rock!

A Song of the Day for Dad - Each Tear - Mary J Blige

Mom and Dad, Christmas 2008

Today is my dad's birthday, what would have been his 73rd.  In a little over a month he'll have been gone five years, which seems impossible to believe.  Though he's away from us that long, his spirit still lives on within our hearts.  I tried hard to think of a special song to post today, and I looked through many, but when I came across this one, I knew...

  Happy Birthday Dad! 

Each Tear

There's something that I want to say,
But I feel I don't know how.
Still I just can't hold it one more day,
So I think I'll let it out.

You're on my mind more than I may show
You're in my heart more than you may know
And the last thing that I want,
Is for you to fall apart.
Your future will get clearer,
I want you to remember.

In each tear
There's a lesson, (there's a lesson)
Make you wiser than before (wiser)
Makes you stronger than you know (stronger)
In each tear (each tear)
Brings you closer to your dreams
No mistake, no heartbreak
Can take away what you're meant to be

We can't change the things,
That we done that's in the past.
But fighting won't get us anywhere.
So if you want, Here's my hand

Every night there is one thing I do
I bow my head and pray for you (pray for you)
And the last thing that I want,
Is for you to fall apart
Your future will get clearer
I want you to remember

In each tear
There's a lesson, (there's a lesson)
Makes you wiser than before (wiser)
Makes you stronger than you know (stronger)
In each tear (each tear)
Brings you closer to your dreams
No mistake, no heartbreak
Can take away what you're meant to be

You're much more than the struggle that you go through
You're not defined by your pain, so let it go?
You' re not a victim, your more like a winner
And you're not in defeat, you're more like a queen

In each tear
There's a lesson,
Makes you wiser than before
Makes you stronger than you know (stronger than you know)
In each tear (in each tear)
Brings you closer to your dreams
No mistake, no heartbreak
Can take away what you're meant to be

In each tear (each tear)
There's a lesson, (there's a lesson)
Makes you wiser than before (wiser)
Makes you stronger than you know
In each tear (Make you so much stronger)
Brings you closer to your dreams
No mistake, no heartbreak
Can take away what you're meant to be

No no we can't be held out
No no oh noo I I I can't held out
You you you can't be held out
We we we can't be held out

Love
It makes you so much stronger (stronger)
It makes you so much wiser (wiser)
In each tear (in each tear)
And You so close to your dreams and no dreams
No mistake, no heartbreak can't take away you're meant to be

Happy Birthday Diana Ross

Sometime during the day I saw a post on Facebook wishing Diana Ross a happy birthday.  For anyone who knows me or has followed my writing over the years, you know how I love Miss Ross.  She was my very first diva and the one person who helped me to learn that dancing is not only good exercise, but the ultimate freedom of expression for me.  Years ago I would have known that today was her birthday, but she really keeps out of the spotlight these days and you know me and music...there's just so much to love I don't always get around to the older stuff.

Every once in awhile, though, I get into a mood to listen to her.  Diana Ross' catalog is just so expansive, from her days with the Supremes to her early solo years to the disco days and her 80's RCA days and even a little beyond.  Like all music, her songs bring me back to places in my life and I am grateful to have had the experience of knowing her music.

So here's one of my first Diana Ross songs, from the first ever album of hers I ever bought, diana.  At the time, the song was a major radio hit and I was giving a new kind of music a try, because beforehand I was a disco sucks t-shirt wearing, KISS loving rock fan.  Within the first few listens I was in love, and it changed my musical tastes that remain to this day.  So Happy Birthday Diana, and thanks for the music!

Upside down

Boy you turn me

Inside out 

And round and round

Upside Down - Diana Ross by peakers

Check out some pieces I've written on Diana, too...

John's World

Remember Me

Divas

Yahoo Contributor Network

Diana Ross: My First Diva

Diana Ross' Top 20 Songs