Life Is Right Now

I’ve got this plaque hanging up in my bedroom. It’s just one of those cheap, wooden ones with a saying, like you can find in pretty much any novelty store. I bought it because, to me, it’s one of those reminders that we need to look at every once in awhile so we don’t forget. Life is right now. Not yesterday, not last week, or last year, or tomorrow even. It’s right now. And right now, just a day after saying goodbye to my sister Christine, I and the rest of my family, can finally begin what I’m sure will be the very long process of healing.

I can’t speak for my mom or my siblings, nor the dozens of people who knew my sister and will have their own bit of healing to do. I can only speak for myself and my right now. Of course, for me the sadness is raw. I haven’t said this publicly until this moment, but I was the person who found my sister after she’d gone missing for a day. I’ve been reliving those moments in my head almost all day, everyday, since Monday night. I already realize that I’ll never be able to wash away the memories of the week, but I recognize that I’m probably going to need to seek some professional assistance to work through it, something I never thought I would have to do.

Of all the things that made me cry this week, it was the countless personal messages I’ve been receiving from friends and family, and even strangers who my sister touched in some way. Crying is therapeutic, and no matter how a person may feel about offering such words of condolence, I think it’s important to know that it doesn’t matter what was said or how it was said. Just the fact that someone found the strength to reach out means the world to the person who is grieving. To that, I offer my sincerest appreciation to everyone who reached out to us. Please know that however small you might think your gesture was, it meant the world to us.

Chrissy’s wake was surreal, as you can imagine. Being a part of her immediate family, I felt like a ping pong ball all day, with people waiting sometimes five deep, to offer their condolences.To all of you who came, especially on my behalf, and with whom I could only spare just a moment or two, I want you to know that through all the blur of yesterday, I remember that you came, and that you came not only out of respect for my sister, but out of love for me. My love for each and every one of you is returned tenfold.

I wish I could bottle up all if the humanity we experienced this week and keep it for all time. As happens, though, I know that life will continue and in some way that humanity will dissipate, sadly. We’ll maintain our political opinions and our personal issues with those in our lives, and that’s too bad. That’s really the tragedy of life. Well, not for me anymore. I know that life is too precious, too short, to be angry or to hold grudges. Right now, I have nothing but love for my family, for my friends, and for the compassionate side of my fellow human beings.

They say it often brings tragedy to bring people together, and I experienced that first-hand this week. In the days and weeks to come, I’m going to build on this, hold onto all that love, and carry it with me wherever I go. It is my hope that some who read my words will take them and run with them too. Reach out to those with whom you may be estranged and truly miss deep inside, give someone a hug, treat people with kindness. My heart is full right now, not only with sadness, but with love for you all. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!

Welcome to Switzerland: Hello Amy, Davide, and Lausanne

After my little three-day stint in Amsterdam, I was to spend the rest of my vacation with my friend Amy and her husband David, who live in Lausanne, Switzerland.  Our plan was to hang out in Lausanne for about six days and then head on to Paris for the end of my trip. In the end it was like two separate trips for me, the one alone in Amsterdam, and this one, and though both were wonderful in their own ways, the second part with Davide and Amy were extra special because of them.

Welcome to Switzerland!

After only an hour's flight from Amsterdam, I was in Geneva, Switzerland.  Davide and Amy live in Lausanne, about 45 minutes awayy by train, and so I hit the rails and in no time Amy and I were bear-hugging at the Lausanne train station.  After a quick stop at a local cafe (I needed it!), we went back up to their place where I finally, after almost ten years, met Davide.  All I can say at this point is that he was as warm and welcoming as Amy, and as the next week or so wore on, he and I became fast friends in our own right.

From the very start, Amy was like, whatever you want to do, let's do, but as she and I always do, and with Davide in the mix, we had wine and cheese and meats and talked through till the wee hours of the morning...a perfect relaxing start!

Lausanne

Now I'd been to Switzerland a couple of times before, but on both of those trips I was in Luzern and Zurich and both times it was in April.  Those two cities are in the German speaking part of the country, more to the east.  Amy and Davide live in Lausanne, which is in the French speaking region and more to the west.  The city is located on the shores of Lake Geneva (which they call lac Leman), across from Evian, France.  It is also home to the International Olympic Committee.  I'd never been to Lausanne before this trip, and so my first full day was spent checking it out...

Amy and Davide live in the vicinity of the lake, and the major portions of Lausanne are located up the hill from there, so bright and early Saturday morning, she and I headed to the city's one subway line to get to the city center.   Maybe because it was a Saturday and maybe it was because it was the height of summer vacation season, but the city reminded me a lot of the city of my father's birth, Trieste, Italy, with the appearance of a mid-sized city, but with few people.  We meandered through the quiet streets, checking out the sites as well as the produce offered up on Saturday farmer's market day.

And of course, there was shopping!  Amy brought me to this very cool, Century 21-like department store where she helped me do some damage, but I am gonna look oh so good this year, lol.

Let's Get French

All in all, the day was a fun one, and again, just spending time with my buddy was what made it so.  Later on in the evening, the three of us had been invited to the home of a gay couple (who's names escape me at the moment), one of whom was cousin to Amy's friend Sylvie.  Neither of them spoke English, and so most of the evening was spent with the four of them speaking French and David and Amy stopping every once in awhile to keep me abreast of the conversation.  It was really a lovely evening, with good food and wine, and pleasant company, though admittedly for the first time in my life I wished I'd known French.

I do speak Spanish fluently and a little bit of Italian, but I French always confused me.  The rules of pronunciation in Spanish and Italian are pretty steadfast, but French is a whole other story,  Luckily, Amy had learned the language quite well in her nine years in Switzerland, and that day she slowly began teaching me both how to say words and what they meant.  That night I was also introduced to a little bit of French Swiss culture, which turned out to be a funny little sidebar to the rest of the trip.

Before heading out to the dinner, both Amy and Davide showed me that when you first take a drink of your wine and do a sort of cheers, you have to look the other person in the eye and say the word "Sante," which I took as "shantay," a la Rupaul.  Well, that was something I couldn't seem to get quite right during the rest of the trip and made for some pretty funny moments.  

So that was my first full day in Lausanne, definitely one to remember and the rest of my time spent there was equally as delicious!  Stay tuned...

In the meantime, check out my other posts on Europe 2018 below:

I❤️amsterdam, Part II:Canals, Red Lights and Coffee Shops

I❤️amsterdam, Part I: The City & Architecture 

I Was On a Paris Train

You Get What You Give: A Note of Thanks and Some Advice

I am one lucky person.  Well maybe not that lucky.  I am at a point in my life where a lot of things are starting to click.  Big changes are about to happen and for the first time in my life that I can remember, I feel really good about where life is headed.  If you read my last post, you'll know that after twenty years in my house, I have decided to sell.  It's one of the biggest decisions I've ever made and as the days have passed since that post, I'm actually starting to get excited...but that's not what I wanted to talk about...

When I posted It's Happening the other night, it was late.  I pretty much hit the 'publish' button and called it a night.  Well, I woke up the next morning to almost 500 page views, 80 likes and 50-plus comments on Facebook, as well as several texts and messages, all entirely supportive of my decision.  I was literally overwhelmed with emotion from it all.  I even heard from people I hardly connect with much anymore, and it just got me to thinking of how lucky, yet not so lucky I am.

I'm lucky because I have a support system of incredible people around me...friends, family, colleagues, and even simple acquaintances.  I don't always remember that until something like this comes along and boom, even the simplest of gestures gives me a feeling like no other.  I am humbled and feel very blessed. 

Once the house had been put up just yesterday and I posted the pictures my friend and realtor Ricardo had taken, the love and support flooded me all over again.  Lol, I don't know if it's the gay or the Italian in me, but I shed tears several times from all the compassion.  I just want to say here and now thank you to each and every person who reached out to me over the past several days.  Having every single one of you in my life is a blessing that I cherish!

That being said, I am a firm believer that this isn't all luck, and thus this teacher's advice to any of you reading.  You always get back what you give, and I like to think that the love and support that I give to anyone in my life is what I am feeling back right now.  I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I think I'm someone who's heart is always in the right place and, well I think I'm a fun person to be around, too, so...

So please take heed this little whatever you might call it.  If you're genuine and kind you're going to find that that it will come back to you tenfold.  I am proof of that.  If you don't behave this way, well, karma can be a bitch.  There's not nearly enough kindness in the world, so if you want to feel the love like I have these past few days, then you've got to give it!   

 

I Was on a Paris Train

The sadness first hit me as time wore on towards the end of another wonderful day in Paris.  It was Saturday, and anytime I made any sort of mention of the end, Amy wouldn't have it.  Goodbyes are always hard, and I'm sure they've been especially difficult for her in the nine years since she'd moved to Switzerland.  I understood that, and I tried my best not to bring it up, but then Sunday came too fast and suddenly I was packing to go home and the reality that the end was near really started to settle in once David started explaining how I would get to the airport on the train.

My trip to Europe was one of those special times I will always remember.  Almost all vacations are good, of course, but in the grand scheme of things there are certain ones that just stand out, and this was definitely one of them.

I'd started my trip in Amsterdam, a city that I always wanted to explore on my own (I'd only been there before on school trips with lots of kids.), and I loved it.  The rest of the time was spent with Amy and her husband David in Lausanne, Switzerland and then Paris.  Amy and I graduated from Stony Brook together (She teaches ESL, too!) and though our interactions since graduation had been sparse, when we do, she and I always connect like the old friends we are.

I'd last seen Amy back in April, when I visited Lucerne, Switzerland on a school trip.  Like before, she invited me to come visit on my own in the summertime and that's just what I did.  I'd never met David before, and when I arrived, I shouldn't have been surprised that he was as genuine a person as Amy was, very warm and welcoming.

For the last ten days of my stay in Europe, the three of us got on so well.  Amy became my tour guide to the Lake Geneva area while David worked, and the three of us spent lovely evenings together just chatting and enjoying each other's company.  Once we'd reached Thursday, David was officially on vacation and the three of us headed off to Paris, where for four days we spent a magically spontaneous, adventurous time.  And then there was Sunday...

David and Amy accompanied me about three quarters of the train ride to Orly Airport in Paris.  David carried my heavy luggage up and down stairs through the Paris subways, one last act of total sweetness.  We switched trains in Chatelet and on the RER we were going to part ways about four stops before my destination.  As we stood there in the crowded car, getting closer to their stop, none of us really looked at each other, avoiding the sadness of parting.  Soon, it was time for the two of them to disembark.  The train stopped and each of them gave me a knowing hug and kiss goodbye and then they stepped off the train.  Once the doors closed and they were out of sight, the tears finally came.

I want to take a moment to thank both Amy and David for their hospitality, their time, and most of all their friendship.  I will take the memories of this wonderful time with me as long as I have time on this Earth.  I am sure that after this trip I will see them both again sooner rather than later.  I love you both! 

Stay tuned for some European vacation stories and pictures...

      

Roller Coaster Road Trip 2017: Hello Toronto!

The drive from Niagara Falls to Toronto via Queen Elizabeth Way is an easy and direct path, but full of traffic.  What I thought would be an hour, hour and a half drive turned into something like three hours.  That's okay, though, because Toronto was our destination and I was excited to get there!

First impressions of Toronto...the outer boroughs of NYC.  In fact, the apartment we rented in the Little Portugal section reminded me a lot of Astoria, right down to the confusing parking areas in an alley behind the houses.  Once we'd found where to park the car, we quickly unpacked the car and moved into our new digs, another AirBnB place.  By the time we had done this, it was already around 5 p.m. and we were starving.  Our host told us that there were a lot of great eateries in the neighborhood, so we set out for a walk in search of food and just checking out Toronto.

Kinda Queensish, right?  Anyway, after walking around for hours, deciding that we were way underdressed for a lot of the eateries we came across, we opted for some Mexican takeout and headed back to the apartment...delish!  The rest of the evening was spent sitting on our cool little porch, drinking, laughing and people watching. That night was probably the most relaxing and one of the funnest nights of the entire trip.  Oh, and Gary found a lil piece of himself in that neighborhood, too...

The view from our porch

We had until Monday morning at the flat in Toronto, and our plan was to explore the city on Saturday and hit Canada's Wonderland on Sunday, our last full day.  Start with roller coasters, finish with em.  We got up Saturday morning and headed on foot towards Lake Ontario, the center of the downtown area.  I should have known ahead of time that we'd be doing a lot of walking that day...any day spent exploring a city is such, and boy did we walk!  Over 30,000 steps that day!

One of the sites that we wanted to visit was the world-famous CN Tower, an icon of the Toronto skyline.  We walked along the water, using our vision to get towards the iconic landmark.  The day was gorgeous, sunny skies and warm temperatures, and we meandered through the promenade, stopping at an outdoor craft fair along the way.  Once we'd hit the street where we wanted to be, we left the shoreline towards CN Tower.  

Rogers Centre, home of the Toronto Blue Jays, is just next to the tower and a game was just beginning, which was kind of cool.  I almost wished I had bought tickets to the game because that would have been even cooler.  As it turned out, the CN Tower itself was a day killer!  The line to go up to the observation deck was about three hours long, and though it did kill much of our day, and our energy, it was still a pretty awesome thing to do.  

As you might imagine, the views of the city and Lake Ontario were spectacular, and looking down into the stadium was pretty neat.  They had this one attraction up there, a windowed floor that you could stand on, looking all the way down 1,800-plus feet right below you.  Not as easy as it sounds.  Rich was the brave one there, taking advantage of the unique perch.  Me, I stepped on and off so quickly, you had to be watching me all along to catch it, lol.  Check out some pictures...

There's my brave Dit!

After the tower, we headed back to walk along the waterfront once again, with a new destination in mind.  I had read in a guide book about this place called the Distillery.  I wasn't sure exactly what it was, and I did misjudge the distance, causing us to walk another hour or so just to get there.  The Distillery is a district full of cafes, shops and restaurants set within the former, historic home of the former Gooderham & Worts Distillery.  

Though the place was charming, I think the long walk there had taken the wind out of our sails a bit and we tiredly meandered through the bustling area in a little over an hour.  It was a cool place, very crowded, and it was there that I found my Toronto Maple Leafs shirt.  That's a thing I have about Canada.  I'm a big hockey fan (I would have LOVED to go to the Hockey Hall of Fame, but didn't want to torture Rich and Gary.) and whenever I visit, I like to grab a shirt of the local hockey team.  I added this one to my Quebec Nordiques shirt that I bought awhile back.  Anyway, check out some of the sights of the Distillery...  

These ladies were selling prose, on any topic, name your price.  I couldn't think of a topic.

By the time we were ready to leave the Distillery, we were starving.  We decided to head more towards home, this time in a taxi, to catch a row of restaurants that a local artist had told Gary about.  We opted for a big sports bar, of which I can't remember the name, and we ended up staying there for several hours, closing our night over some brewskies and conversation.  It wasn't the evening I had envisioned, but we were tired and we did have a lot of laughs.  

We made our way home, bellies full and a little bit of a buzz in our heads, looking forward to sitting on our porch with some more laughs as we contemplated our day in Toronto.  The moon was bright that night, a perfect period to a pretty nice day!  Very cool city, Toronto.  I think I'd like to visit again.

The next day, Sunday, would be the last day of a very memorable trip.  We were going to finish it like we started...riding roller coasters.  Stay tuned as we take a look at the cool Canadian coasters of Canada's Wonderland, and in the meantime, check out the rest of the trip...

A New Adventure Awaits

An Unplanned Stop in Pittsburgh and Kennywood

King's Island's Great Coasters

Get to the Point

Lighthouse Point at Cedar Point

Amazing Niagara Falls

Amazing Niagara Falls, Part II

Summer's End: A Reflection on Living Life & Rejuvenation

It's last few hours before it's all over. Yeah, yeah, I know you all feel so bad for me and the rest of us teachers out there who are all getting back to real life after about 9 weeks of summer vacation. Well, while I do agree that summer is a great perk of the job, it is a much needed respite after ten straight months of, well, non-stop craziness, at least for me. Recharging is exactly what the doctor ordered.

I'm not speaking here to extol nor to defend the virtues of working in education, though. As I like to do every so often, I am here tonight to express appreciation and gratitude for my life. Having not worked in the summer for the first time in my teaching career, I had the total pleasure of experiencing life in a myriad of ways this time around, and for that, I am eternally grateful...and proud!

Where do I begin? I had so many pleasurable experiences over the summer that seem too innumerable to list. Dinners with friends, kayaking, parties and bbq's, the Roller Coaster Road Trip, camping, the beach, deep conversations, Philly, new friends, dancing, Fire Island, and even a semi-steady summer romance are just some of the many pleasures in life I got to enjoy this summer. I am a very lucky person!

Earlier today, and this was not the first time, someone said to me, "look there, the man who's really living life." I always say to this, "Who, me? Nah, it just looks that way on Facebook." Really, though, it is partially true. I live my life as I see it through my own eyes and that's where the proud part comes in. If a friend suggests an activity, I usually jump right in. Taking what comes your way is really a great way to get to experience life, to make memories that will stay with me to the very end. I know so many people who've got hangups, so many who waste their days in front of the television sets or just being 'bored.' To me, that's kind of sad and I could never imagine myself being that way.

My friend Rich is always telling me that I need to say no sometimes. He's right, but not totally. Yes, I've always got more on my plate than I can sometimes handle, and I'm always running against the clock, always in a rush, but once I am at whatever thing I have scheduled with someone, I usually find the enjoyment in it. Even when things go awry on a jaunt, at least I have a great story to tell.

So as I get ready for the first day of school tomorrow, I go into it once again with a fresh mind and happy memories that will carry me to the next summer. No, life is not over (except maybe the sleeping late part, lol). It simply continues through a different means. There are still good times yet to be had, and I intend to make the most of those that come my way.

So to all of my teacher friends out there, I hope that you have all lived a little this summer and appreciated every moment. May the new school year bring out the best in all of us as a result of our blessings. See you all soon!

Good Riddance to a Former Friend and a Conservative Hater

It happened, something that I really hoped wouldn't, but it did. After about seven months of President Trump, I finally lost a Facebook friend over my political views and to me it epitomizes the state of our world, and our United States, today.  It's sad that things have come to this, but I, like many others, are beginning to lose my patience with some of these people.  

Though I do have strong political views, I'm always very careful about what I share and where. Sure, every once in awhile I will write a post on here, but that's rare. As for social media, I use Facebook and Twitter for different purposes. Twitter is where I post a lot of the political stuff I read, as well as making comments concerning news and politics (you can see my Twitter feed on the bottom right-hand side of this page). I haven't many friends there, mainly followers (around 1800 of them, too!), and so that's my politico go-to.

Facebook, on the other hand, is a place where I interact with people I've known from all facets of my life.  Because of this, the only real political actions I perform there involve liking a post here and there. On occasion I will share something, but normally without commentary.  There's no need to ever rile anybody up, especially in these times.  I never try to engage anyone there out of the fear of creating animosity or even worse, public argumentation. That way, I keep my friends, regardless of their political affiliation.  I mean, they are friends for a reason, right?  I do have a few friends out there who do post political stuff from the other side, and when I do read what they write, it often takes great restraint not to engage. Thus the case with this so-called friend.

I'm going to call her JD.  She used to be a fellow writer on Associated Content and Yahoo Voices, and we got to know each another through there, commenting on one another's pieces and such.  For quite a few years, JD and I interacted a lot.  She is s talented writer, and eventually we became FB friends.

Though I never was aware of her political views before, her page clearly showed that she had abandoned liberal ideals in favor of conservative ones during the last election cycle.  That's putting it mildly, really, because from her posts you could see the transformation from her previous, likable demeanor towards a brash, in-your-face, outright liberal basher.  Her posts often made me grimace, but out of respect for friendship, I always just kept on scrolling.

About two months ago, JD posted this to her page:

This post disturbed me, and the comments that followed, including phrases like locked and loaded'and oh, they're gonna find out what real anger is, really got my blood boiling.  Those remarks were her own replies to her friends' own incendiery remarks on the post made it all just totally appalling to me.  I didn't know what to do, so at first I saved it and then sat on it for awhile.  I so much wanted to engage JD on this because to me this was serious stuff.  Advocating Civil War? For Donald Trump?  Pretty scary if you ask me.  

I decided to report the post to Facebook.  I didn't really care if she found out or not, but I thought this was too disturbing to leave alone.  Within a week, Facebook contacted me to let me know that the post didn't infringe on any of their rules.  Sigh!  More about this another time...

So after this incident, which happened in May, JD and I continued to be on one another's friends lists, but hardly interacted.  I believe that she unsubscribed to my feed a long time ago when she saw my political leanings, but I kept hers on mine.  It's always a good idea to know how the other side is thinking.  Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer, you know.  

So just yesterday, JD posted something about how George Soros, liberal-leaning millionaire, was behind the whole Charlottesville thing.  My jaw dropped, but as per my own way of acting on FB, I said nothing, but I did see that there were like 60 comments, so I began to peruse them.  There was this one guy, another liberal friend of hers, who challenged her theory, asking for facts, to which she had none.  He was polite and non-threatening in his remarks and he even posted links to prove some of the points he was making.  

The now-famous right-wing talking points came up...libtard, snowflake, fake news, blah, blah blah, and every time she responded with a very condescending attitude, name-calling and at one point she even told him to f**k off.  The guy never lost his cool, though.  I've gotta give him credit for that.  He even mentioned in one of his comments that if he was so wrong, then why did some of her friends like his comments.  (I was one of them!)  She had nothing to back up her claim.  

Next thing you know, she posted one of those word boxes that are so popular these days saying that she was itching to clean her Facebook of dumb-ass liberals and how she wanted to get her friend count down to 1,000.  Who's she trying to impress?   A couple of hours later I received a notice that I had lost a friend.  Guess who?  Ah well!  F**k off  JD!  

Weezie Rides Again

Finally!  After more than a year without riding a roller coaster, and after a summer in which I was told not to ride roller coasters, Weezie finally got her fix yesterday!  September 24th was a date I'd had on my calendar for a long time and though it was a little disappointing (read on), I did get to ride, and with some of the coolest people I know, too.   

Last night was Great Adventure's Annual Out in the Park event, something that my friends and I have been going to for years now.  I figured that since this particular date was so late in the season and more than two months after my back issues, it'd be the perfect time to go, and it kinda was.  The weather was crisp and very autumn-like and all of the rides were running.

The Great El Toro!

Our first ride is one of my favorites..El Toro.  It was around 5 p.m. when we got to the park, and the place was packed.  Almost an hour and a half wait to ride this one, but once we were in that seat, it was definitely worth it.  Take a quick ride...  

At the end of that exhilarating ride, we all came off laughing at our pal Sonny, who had never ridden El Toro and was screaming the whole way.  We stopped at the picture booth to check out how silly we all looked and a gem was found:

Yup, that's Sonny on the left (my other pal Sean is on the right!).  You can imagine from the look on her face just how hard we were laughing, and it continued the whole night through.  We giggled and fooled around and chatted amiably for the next six-plus hours as we rode Nitro, Bizarro, and the all-new Joker (Loved!).  Wait, that's only four rides altogether.  Well, no, there were two rides on Nitro.  Well...

Out At Night: A Rant

I mentioned earlier in the post to read on, and this is where a little rant comes in.  I'd said that my friends and I have been going to this event for a few years now, not every year, but mostly.  The event, Out At Night, is supposed to be a night for LGBT's to enjoy some rip-roaring, our-kind-of fun in the park.  There used to be a dance party, beer and drink gardens, dancing, and best of all, short lines.  Well, no more.  Like everything else good, (see A Pitiful Night on the Sea Tea), this event has morphed into something altogether different than it used to be, and is no longer worth it.

I don't blame the organizers for what it was like at Great Adventure yesterday.  I place blame on Six Flags and good old fashioned capitalistic greed.  You see, in recent years, the Halloween-themed days at the park, dubbed Fright Fest at Six Flags' parks, has become a huge draw, and to seemingly capitalize on its popularity, SFGA had been running theirs a week already.  Where we used to have the park to ourselves, that is no longer the case.   

Yes, that first ride on El Toro ate up almost two hours of our evening, and so did lines for the other rides.  Kingda Ka was an hour and forty-five minute wait...not worth sucking up another two hours.  For the first time in recent memory, we had to pick and choose which coasters to ride, given the time we had at the park, which is a darned shame.  There were people everywhere, and though there were LGBT's in the crowd, there were far more of everybody else.  I'm done with Out At Night!  

It's too bad that Six Flags seems to have chosen the almighty dollar over goodwill.  I always waited till this event to visit this, my home park, and now I'll have to choose an alternative.  Despite the huge crowds, long lines and few rides, it really was a fun night of riding and the only pain I had in my back was from standing so long.  Luckily I had good people to share the experience with, and I guess we'll just have to find another day to go next year...maybe a Monday!