Staring at Another Blank Page, And it Looks Promising

Even though I've been back at work for two days already, it all really starts tomorrow.  That's when the kids come back to school, and now I'm finally getting excited.  I had the roughest end to a school year in my fifteen years of teaching back in June, and I left it behind thinking something would have to change.  I had a great summer, but when I got back yesterday, it felt like I was in the same bad place I'd left two short months ago. 

I came into a new classroom, the remnants of the tornado that was my last week still evident all over the place, and in between all of the beginning of year meetings, I've somehow managed to make it presentable for the students.  Coming back to school this year has not been what I envisioned it to be so far, and I'm hoping that once I'm with my kids, it will all come together, and this time it'll be better than ever!  Big change is happening in my life, good change, and I want to bring that feeling of optimism into my classroom, as well.  The blank page of this year is full of possibilities...

I usually post Natasha Bedingfield's Unwritten on John's Music World for the beginning of the school year, and I still may.  It's one of my all-time favorite songs and to me it contains some pretty perfect words of wisdom for life:

Staring at the blank page before you

Open up the dirty window

Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance

So close you can almost taste it

Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten

I've spoken about these lyrics many times and this time I let them speak for themselves.  For me they take on a new meaning at the start of this particular new school year.  I am being cautiously optimistic, but I've been telling my friends lately that I feel I am at the beginning stages of a long-awaited Renaissance in my life.  Though plans I had been making had all fallen to the wayside over the summer, new doors are opening up for me.  My professional life is clicking on all cylinders, and even my love life is showing some signs of well, life, and I feel like everything is starting to fall into place.  

These sentiments are partially evident in my last two posts, It's Happening and You Get What You Give, and now that summertime is over and I'm back to the grind, it's time to carry these feelings into the new school year and beyond.  I want to make this the best year ever for both myself and my students, and to reach for and get what I've been looking for so long...a better place!  And it all begins tomorrow.

Good luck to all of you teachers out there in this new school year.  Here's hoping the blank pages of yours are filled with nothing but happiness and success.  You deserve it!  

My Purpose: An Introduction to "Why We Came and How We Got Here"

From my Facebook, about two weeks ago:

Hot off the press...after weeks and weeks of writing, re-writing and editing, this labor of love is finally complete! In this, our 15th edition, my students share some pretty compelling stories of why they came here and how they got here.

Like the generations of immigrants who came before them, these youngsters made their oftentimes dangerous treks here to escape extreme poverty and a very war-like environment.

They’re all great kids and they were afraid to share their stories because, well, we all know the attitudes towards immigrants these days, and so the only way I could get them to share their stories was to promise to publish them anonymously.

I’m very proud of ‘Why We’re Here and How We Got Here: True Stories of Young Immigrants,’ and I am thinking about publishing this as a PDF. Please click ‘like’if you’d want a copy. Thanks!

In the past couple of years it's become evident to me that I have a purpose in life.  It's something that I'm not yet totally comfortable with, but I find myself being driven by it.  From my own actions and reactions to the things going on around me lately, it's become pointedly clear that the things I'm doing are as natural to me as anything else in my life, ever, and so when the recently heated debate about immigration came bubbling to an ugly surface, I decided I had to act on it.  I put myself wholeheartedly behind what I do, what I live, and what I believe, and this is my truth.

It is with that in mind that I pointed my class' annual magazine in the direction of laying stories bare.  As one who teaches some social studies in my classroom, I know that primary sources of information, sources coming from those who have had actual experiences connected to a topic, are the best kinds of sources to go by, and so what better way to convey the stories of today's immigrants than to hear from them.  

Me and my students began this undertaking about six weeks prior to publication, and I'm proud of them for sharing what they experienced.  I've learned a lot about immigration from them that I never knew before, and I think that sharing the stories beyond the area of my school district is a worthwhile endeavor.  So I begin with my own introduction to the publication, a piece that lays out the process behind it.  Read on and stay tuned for some of their stories...

Dear Readers,

Welcome to “Why We Came and How We Got Here,” the latest version of our ENL Magazine. We began publishing this annual collection in 2004 in the hope that readers might gain a new perspective on our students, an often-misunderstood group of youngsters. To this point, I believe that goal has only been partially achieved. With the political climate of the country the way it is these days, misinformation and misunderstanding about the immigrant experience has reached an all-time high, and so our purpose for this year’s edition takes on a greater significance than ever before.

A Class Project Leads to a Mission

Early in the school year, the students in my ENL class completed an autobiographical project. This wasn’t the first time I’d ever assigned such a task, but it was the first time I ever really had to sell them on something. You see, with today’s immigrants drawing such open criticism and anger, I wanted to gain a better understanding of their stories. I wanted to know the real reasons why they came here and what they went through in making their way here. Even though I’ve been working with these kids for so long, even I wasn’t aware of the real answers to these questions.

Virtually all of the students were reluctant to tell their stories, and it was a hard sell to get them to do so. I had to assure them that the things they were going to share would stay within our group. In addition to a written piece, the students were also required to make a presentation to the class, sharing not only their personal stories of why and how they came to be here, but other such things as what they’d put on their bucket lists, some of their favorite things, and even their hopes for the future. It was during these presentations that my eyes opened wider than they had in fifteen years.

For more than two weeks, each of my students came to the front of the class to share their auto-biographies, and I learned things that I may have suspected over the years, but never really heard told so openly. Laughter and tears, and plenty of anguish permeated the room with each presentation, and those watching even just one of them either commiserated with the speaker or became consumed with empathy.

Empathy. It’s a word I often use in my classroom and one that I wholeheartedly believe everyone needs a little more of. If we make an effort to empathize more, we might just gain a whole new awareness that we didn’t have before, and hopefully these new perspectives might make this world a more tolerable place.

Once our presentations had finished, we continued with the theme by tackling the NY Times bestselling book, “Enrique’s Journey” by Sonia Nazario. It tells the story of a boy from Honduras who makes the harrowing and dangerous trek to the United States in search of his mother who had abandoned him when he was only five years old. Once again, memories were jarred by the many stories found in the book. 

A New Mission

When the time came to begin working on this publication, it seemed that general attitudes towards immigrants had become even worse than before. New stories and videos showing harassment towards immigrants, more specifically Hispanics, seemed to pop up every day on social media. News outlets cover raids and roundups of undocumented immigrants, families being forcibly separated, children being held in secretive, jail-like camps. The list of stories goes on and on and the more we hear, the worse the situation becomes.

In the poem, “Push and Pull,” I speak of the plight of the many generations of foreigners whose desperate situations led them to immigrate to this country. Each group of immigrants had its own reasons for coming, and most often it was to flee danger or poverty. The stories of today’s immigrant are no different, only the rules have since changed.

So I thought that perhaps we, our little group of immigrants who chose to settle here in Southold, might do our own little part in helping people gain a better understanding of who they are and why they came. Their stories are sometimes raw and always very personal, and show just how desperate these immigrants must be to undergo such a dangerous journey that they are not guaranteed to finish. I believe that the immigrant population in Southold is a microcosm of the greater immigrant population and their individual stories reflect the experiences of the whole.

Again, selling this idea was a difficult task. Some of the stories contained within are highly personal, and I am sure that still there were difficult details that were omitted because of their emotional impact. I convinced my students that this undertaking will be worth it if we get even one person to see immigration in a different light. The idea of their stories being published elicited an even greater protest than the project had, and so in the end we decided that all of the stories published would be anonymous. I encourage you to read on with an open heart and an open mind.

Thank you,

John Myers

A Different Kind of Separation

From my Twitter, on Monday, edited:

This morning, one of my students, a 14 yo boy from Guatemala, came to school to take a final examination. When I came by to check on how he was doing, he wasn’t doing very well at all. It had already been an hour or so into the test and he was only on question #8.
“Did you study?” I asked.
He looked up at me and with tears in his eyes he said no. He gathered himself and added, “My mom is getting deported,” he told me.

It seems a local immigration lawyer took all their money, $7ooo, and never filed her papers in court seeking asylum. The judge dropped the case and ordered her out of the country in 30 days. Daniel can stay because he had the luxury of being abandoned by his dad when he was a baby. He is not my only student to have suffered the same fate.

Daniel and his mom were abandoned by his father when he was a toddler and are all one another has in life. Back in Guatemala, they were poverty stricken, oftentimes eating only one meal a day, and at 13 years of age, Dan was already within the sights of the local gangs, who would not take no for an answer once
they came calling.

His mom became desperate and reached out to an uncle for help in getting money to come to the U.S. The two of them traveled for weeks, a long and treacherous journey that had them walking for up to fourteen hours a stretch and going without food or water for up to two days.

Luckily, they made it here safe. That was a little less than two years ago. In that time, Dan has learned a lot of English and does what he can to help the two of them survive, working whenever he can to bring money into the house. They are still poor, but rich in comparison to their life back in Guatemala. They're both safe, too, and they still have each other. Well, for now. So they’ve lost all the money they’ve scraped up to an unscrupulous lawyer and in less than 26 days they will be separated barring some sort of miracle.

Daniel is the sweetest of boys, always with a smile on his face and a willing hand to help others by translating, helping with homework, and even cleaning the teacher’s desk for him. Now he faces being all alone at 14, the only other person in his life being ripped from his side.

Dan’s is but one small story in a million stories. He’s lucky he’s got me...I refuse to leave him totally abandoned. Thousands of others are not so lucky. Today’s immigrants are no different than the ones who came before them, leaving their families, their friends, their homes, everything, to escape poverty and danger. Only the rules have changed. We changed them when we starting not liking the places that they came from and we all need to know that.

To be continued...

Working to Remember and Never Forget

Today marks 15 years since that terrible day.  When I think of the events of September 11th, 2001, I can recall most of it vividly.  I think most of us who were adults at the time can.  I couldn't help but notice today that there seemed to be less and less mention of the anniversary on social media.  Now I have accounts on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and others and I saw very little of anything, at least in comparison to past years, about what happened that day.  I guess it should be expected...time does that healing thing, which is really a good thing. But still, forgetting this is not an option.  

I have to admit, even though this was a notable anniversary, I didn't even think about the day until I finally saw a post on Instagram around 2:00 this afternoon.  Sure, I'd known it was coming, but for some reason it just hadn't entered my mind.  Today was a similar day, weather-wise, to that September day back in 2001, only not as clear and not as crisp, and though I admittedly did not actively think on the anniversary often today, I couldn't let it go without a mention.

Of course, the sentiments that go along with that day will dwindle even more over time, but they should never be forgotten.  In school, our principal always mentions the date and asks any of us who plan to do anything to commemorate the day to share it with him.  Well, the kids in high school today were either babies at the time or not even born yet when it happened, so to them it's not as personal, not as meaningful.

Since my students are all foreign born, they know even less of that sad, sad day, and during one of my early morning periods, they had come to me from their Global Studies class in which they had just seen a video and had an accompanying worksheet to fill out on the event.  They were confused and didn't really understand what they had just been taught.  I promptly decided to forego my own lesson just to talk to them.

I wrote the word terrorism on the board, and asked them to give me words that they thought would fit the definition.  In a bit of sad reality, they were able to come up with some words to fit that heinous tactic: bombs, guns, killing, etc.  I added the word scare and we launched a conversation that began with the recent attacks in Nice and Paris and we worked our way back to 9/11.  I recounted my own memories of that day, from the moment I'd heard a plane had crashed into one of the towers early on to being glued to the television all day and all night.  I choked up a little when I spoke of the heroes on United Flight 93 and knew right then that although my own memories and feelings about September 11th, 2001 had diminished, the feelings were still there deep inside me.  

So if you found yourself in the same place as I today, and you feel like maybe you've lost some of that anger, horror and sadness over the 3,000-plus lives that were lost just fifteen years ago today, then I think you need to relive it a little,  Whether it's by watching a program on the events, or sharing your own recollections with someone who wasn't around and doesn't know.  I think from here on, we're going to have to work to remember...and never forget.   

See also:

Remembering 9/11

How September 11th Impacted My Life

Back to School Song of the Day - Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined

I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you

Open up the dirty window

Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

This song has become somewhat of a tradition for me on the first day of school.  It's one of my favorite tunes for a lot of reasons, the best of which is that it is a call for a fresh start, one in which you live your life with arms wide open, feel the rain on your skin and release your inhibitions.  it's a great theme for a new school year, or just about any other time in one's life when they would like to begin anew and live a life full of hope, love and possibility.  

That picture above is from a few years back, after a teacher conference day in which our superintendent asked teachers to recognize some of their colleagues for their hard work and dedication to their profession.  Out of three teachers who received the honor, I was the only one of whom  not one, but three fellow teachers were inspired to nominate.  It was one of the proudest moments of my teaching career and one which I must keep in mind as I move on into this one, potentially one of the most difficult of school years for me, personally.

New York State has changed the laws concerning the education of English Language Learners in a big way, and though everyone is being affected by it, the consequences for me have turned out to be very difficult.  The law was at first applauded by ESL teachers everywhere, as our kids are finally getting some attention that has been badly missing for years and years.  However, I am sure I am not the only one who will begin to suffer for it as my workload has increased greatly, forcing me to squeeze even more out of my school day and on into my, um, free time.

Until this year I have always looked forward to the first day of school.  I get to see my kids again, craziness and all.  But for the very first time in my now 13-year teaching career, I am also dreading it. I am actually cross-posting this one on both John's Music World and John's World as this one's as much of a memoir as it is a Song of the Day.  

As goes with my life, I look for inspiration in music to get me through the tough times, and today's song will be very meaningful for me in getting through the day and the year.  For right now, I am going to let the sun illuminate the words that I cannot find and begin my book not with despair, but with hope.  Fingers crossed!

Reaching for something in the distance

So close you can almost taste it

Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines

We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you

Open up the dirty window

Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance

So close you can almost taste it

Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you

Open up the dirty window

Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance

So close you can almost taste it

Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten

The rest is still unwritten

The rest is still unwritten

Graduation Day Pride

I tell ya, there is one time in the school year of this teacher's life when all of the heartbreaks and joys, the trials and tribulations, triumphs and defeats all become worthwhile. To know that you've made a real difference in a young person's life, that you've helped them achieve their first major accomplishment, is the most gratifying one of my own. Congratulations to Yunus, Kevin, Jeremy, and all of the other graduates, including my awesome nephew Nick, who've made it through high school and who now move on to bigger and better things.

It's a beautiful Monday morning, the first official day of summer vacation for me and I am finally going to delve deep into those lazy feel-good days of summer.  But before I do that, here's a little recap of the first part of the wonderful weekend I had to start my summer...

Graduation Day

Saturday was graduation day at my high school, and I attended the ceremony because I had not one, but two very special young men that were receiving their high school diplomas.  I've had the privilege of working with both Kevin and Yunus for several years now and to have both of them reach this first pinnacle of their lives was too special not to miss.

Kevin, me, Yunus

I first met Kevin when he arrived in the United States from El Salvador in 2003.  He was seven years old and in the second grade.  I worked with him in my class for about three years until early 2007, when I went over to the high school full time.  Kevin was always an inquisitive little thinker, often coming up with profound questions about whatever things we were learning in class.  Though I lost touch with him for a couple of years, he became an on-again, off-again fixture in my classroom, right up until this year, when he would often spend his lunch period in my classroom.  Kevin not only graduated from high school, but also the BOCES automotive repair program.  Man, he's gonna do well, I am sure, and I'm surely going to have a place to take my car for years to come!

Yunus is a young Turkish kid who has been in my class for the past six years.  I first met him in the summer before junior high school when his brother Can introduced the young sixth grader to me.  His genial and joking nature made me like him immediately, and through the years we've been through all sorts of life situations together...he's become almost like a son to me.  I am so proud of him for making it. Though I'm happy for him at the moment, I am sure going to miss him come September.

 

Kevin, me and Kevin's brother Jonathan, last year's graduate

So that was the first part of my weekend...a sentimental moment of one kind of pride.  Stay tuned as I post about another...

A Sobering Reminder from a Hot Sexy Goddess

It is with a troubled and heavy heart that I write this post.  It's one of the types of posts I hate to write, yet always seem to find therapeutic.  Early this morning, at school, my classroom phone rang.  It was my buddy Laura Kim...

Did you see the email about Rita?

I hadn't, but before I could even answer her, I was given the saddest of news.  Rita, a colleague and onetime friend of mine had passed away.  I'm not exactly sure how old she was, but she was young... several years younger than me, and way to young to die.

Since that phone call this morning, a myriad of memories have washed all over me.  Rita and I have a storied past.  At one time, I considered her one of my good friends. and we shared many good times together.  But then one day, just about three years ago, a rift opened up between us over nothing really, and our friendship evolved into awkward run-ins at first and then eventually total nothingness. Now that she's gone, I can't...I don't...regret anything that ever happened between us.  I just can't help but feel immense sorrow for her losing her life, especially at such a young age.  Her death is a shock, and serves as yet another reminder that life is such a precious thing and it need not be wasted on things that don't really matter.

I first met Rita, whom I eventually came to call 'Reet,' several years ago.  She was an elementary school speech pathologist and she'd been tasked with working with a student of mine in the 7th grade. She was looking for a space to work with him and none of the teachers in my school would allow her in their classrooms.  Then one day she knocked on my door, and of course I invited her in.

It was really nice having another adult in the room for a change.  Working as a teacher is like being on an island, and so having her there gave me someone to talk to.  Soon enough she and I became fast friends and for about three to four years Reet and I shared lots of good times together.  I remember when we first exchanged phone numbers, she put hers into my phone and called herself "Rita, the Hot Sexy Goddess,' lol.  That name and number is still on my phone.

Rita was one of those people I felt comfortable sharing all of myself with from the get-go.  I believe that the first time she and I went out together socially, I told her that I was gay.  As things turned out, perhaps that part of me was partially to blame for our eventual rift.  Over time I'd learned how she viewed homosexuality and felt that maybe I was more of a novelty to her and not looked upon as being 'normal.'

I have to give her credit, though.  During the times we spent together, she met all of my friends and she even went to Cherry Grove with us on Labor Day, as well as clubbing with me in the city.  I remember her being nervous about going to the Grove out of fear that she was going to get hit on, but she persevered and went and I'd like to think that day was one of the best days she ever had.  Every photo of her that day shows a great big genuine smile.

         

Three years ago, a misunderstanding between us lead us to drift apart, and eventually we just stopped speaking to one another.  We never had an argument, but we're both stubborn Italians and neither one of us made the effort to reconcile, sadly.  The following school year, she took a leave of absence and ended communication with most of us at school.  No one ever really knew what was going on with her...until this morning.  

So for what it's worth Rita, you Hot Sexy Goddess, you, I hope you have found peace.  I thank you for your friendship and I promise to hold on to the good times and let go of the bad from this day forward.  And I also want to say thanks for the reminder that life is so precious, and that we all need to make the most of the time we have here, for every day that we wake up we are lucky.

The Generosity of A Giving Tree

And the tree was happy...

For any of you who don't know Shel Silverstein's The Giving Tree, you should definitely check it out. It's one of those stories that I only learned as a teacher and over the past ten years or so, it has become one of my favorite books.  At the start, it appears as if it's a children's book, and by many accounts, it is, but the story teaches a lesson in giving that everyone, at any age, can relate to.  In fact I read it to my high school students just today.

I first learned of The Giving Tree back when I was teaching elementary school.  I had been stuck without time to prepare for my lesson one day and I went to my friend Charle, a third grade teacher, for ideas.  She handed me the book and told me to read it to the children and have them do a writing assignment where they would talk about giving.  

I'd never heard of the book before, but I trusted my friend, a 20-plus year teacher.  I went and picked up my kids from their classroom and sat them all down on the floor around me.  I read the book for the first time as I read it to them and I cried.  Right there in front of my 2nd and 3rd graders.  The selflessness of that tree is still one of the most beautiful things I've ever learned, and I've been sharing it with my students, young and old, ever since.

Whenever I read The Giving Tree to my students, the room always falls silent with attentiveness. That's the way it is written.  And I still tear up a little bit every time, getting choked up by the tree's generosity.  I usually follow up on a reading by asking my students to put in a journal the answer to this question:

If you could give anything to anybody, just one thing, 

what would you give and who would you give it to?  

I normally do this activity during the Thanksgiving season,  It is my favorite holiday because it's all about giving thanks and showing appreciation, and not with all the have-to's that come with that other holiday. So in that spirit, and in a spirit that I try to share each year at this time, I will be posting a different sort of thanks in the coming two weeks.  I have a great many people in my life that bring me joy, people who give me so much and may not even realize it, and all I want to do is let them know that I'm better off in this world having known them.

So stay tuned for that, and pick up a copy of The Giving Tree while you're at it.  Click on the Amazon link at the bottom of this page and tell em John sent you.  You'll be glad you did!    

I Don't Like Being "El Diablo!"

This is a chalkboard drawing one of my students made in my classroom this morning.  It was at the beginning of the day, and a good start to the day at that.  When I first noticed it, I laughed at the accuracy of it because the kid got it spot on, but then I began to think...

...I left the drawing on the board during my free period, the next one, so that I could show it to the other students who would be coming in the following class.  They all got it as well...

In case you might not get it, let me break down the meaning of the drawing for you:

- In the morning, Mr. Myers has got a smile on his face.  He's happy and his usual self.

- By mid-morning, the smile starts to fade as the stresses of the day seep into his psyche.

- And by the time the last period of the day rolls around, Mr. M. is "el diablo," yelling and screaming at the kids at an almost constant rate for the last 45 minutes of the day.

I don't like being "el diablo!"

I began to think that my life, or at least my mind, seems to have hit rock bottom right now, and my job has a lot to do with it.  For the sake of privacy and not getting myself into trouble I'll spare you the details, but this school year is much tougher than the one before, which was pretty bad, and even though I saw the stress coming, there was...there is...nothing I can do to stop it.  I feel helpless!

My days at school start early and finish late...every day.  And it doesn't stop there.  Work comes home with me nightly and on the weekends, too, and I'm lucky if I get one or two hours to relax daily and maybe a three r four per day over the weekend.  I always thought that teaching was supposed to get easier over time, but not for me.  I know a lot of it has to do with the particular teaching vocation I chose, which if you didn't know already was English as a Second Language, or ESL.

You see, my students don't speak English, and they come with a whole host of other issues, many of which are related to the cultures from which they come.  They look to me for just about everything, help with their science or math homework, or personal problems at home or at school, and though I do love working with them, the recent influx of immigrants to this country has upped my load by about 33% so far.  That equation amounts to an exponential set of problems to deal with.  Other than the ten minutes I leave my classroom to go out to my car for a breather, I am literally swamped every single moment of the day.  It's no wonder I feel like I'm going off the deep end!

I remember when I used to write about those "Ziggy" periods, and I always said that I knew they were temporary, but I think pessimism has taken over my mind as I've aged and I don't foresee anything getting any better.  And when things aren't going well in one area of your life, everything else in your life seems to follow suit.  My personal relationships are suffering, my lack of sleep has increased, the laundry piles up right along with the dishes, I'm not eating well, not getting my regular exercise, and any hope for a personal life, much less a relationship, seems pretty glum.  

I want to live again, and for all of my life, not just summers and school vacations, but at nights and on weekends, too.  Is that too much to ask for?  And I don't want to be "el diablo" at school anymore. I took on this career to make a difference, and being a stressed out grump with my students doesn't really do much good to that end.

It's a good thing I will be getting help soon at work in the form of an assistant, and November and December are full of holidays, so perhaps the relief of these two things will help drag me out of this cloud.  One can only hope...    

...Or maybe I need to stop hoping and start doing!  Again, Ugh!  

I don't want to be precious
I don't want to feel stress
Life is for the living, but not a living hell

-P!nk

Song of the Day - Kind and Generous - Natalie Merchant

You've been so kind and generous, I don't know how you keep on giving
For your kindness I'm in debt to you
For your selflessness, my admiration
For everything you've done, you know I'm bound
I'm bound to thank you for it

I normally reserve the posting of this particular song for the Thanksgiving holiday, and I may very well do so again in a couple of weeks, but it is very appropriate for me to post today because I need to thank a very special person who will be leaving my side so to speak, for good.  You see, for the better part of the last year, I've had an assistant in my classroom who has done so much to make my life easier at work, and after today she'll be moving on to her own classroom in another school district.

I've always believed that ESL teachers are made from the same cloth.  We are the kindest, most selfless of people who care deeply for our students and dedicate much of our time and energy towards nurturing them and helping them learn and grow.  Brittany is surely one of those people, and for the last nine months or so I've been only too happy to share with her my students and my crazy world and she has responded with the greatest modicum of responsibility and caring that I believe is so lacking in today's world.  

So, to Brittany I say thank you, thank you, thank you!  I am so  proud of you and I know you will serve your own students with the same great care and attention that you have shown to mine.  They'll be lucky to have you, and I wish you nothing but the best of luck. I am surely going to miss you!

    

Oh I want to thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you
Thank you

Song of the Day - Bucket List - Nelly Furtado

Climb a mountain swim the seven seas 

Get your body to look like Hercules 

Jump out an airplane with a parachute 

Fly up and away on a hot air balloon

In this lifetime
I want you to be mine
Cuz I took a long look at my bucket list
And I saw that at the bottom it said our first kiss and
Whoa I'm running out of time
Whoa I'm running out of time

This past Friday, I began a Music Fridays weekly lesson with my advanced group of students and one of the first songs I chose to work with them on was Nelly Furtado's Bucket List, which until this moment I had no idea was ever a single.  The tune is one of my favorites off of her Spirit Indestructible album, which didn't really do so well, unfortunately.  

Get on your boots and visit the North Pole
Try every sport until you score a goal
Follow the path of a butterfly
Go to Ground Zero and do nothing but cry
We don't know how much time left we got left in this world
This beautiful world

Anywho, this song is about just what you think it is, a bucket list. I've always loved the idea of having a bucket list...I really already have one in my head...and so I'm going to be bringing Friday's lesson into today.  So if you don't know the song, and/or you're looking for a song to pick you up a little and bring you into some daydreaming, then by all means click play below.

Read more: Nelly Furtado - Bucket List Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

Flashback Friday Song of the Day - Marry You - Bruno Mars

I'm only reaching back three years for today's flashback because today is one special day that has been a long time coming and I couldn't think of a happier song to celebrate such an occasion.  You see, today I will be attending the wedding of Arnoldo and Jillian, two people who so deserve to be happy together.

I have a long history with these two, and even though I'm not a big fan of weddings, I am looking forward to this one.  I've written about Arnoldo and his family back when I was writing for the old Associated Content and Yahoo Voices.  When I first met this young man, he seemed to me to be one tough 16 year-old Guatemalan kid, with slicked back hair, arms folded and a great big scowl on his face. He didn't speak a word of English and he was registering to be in my class.  I was not looking forward to adding him to my roster of students.  That was almost eleven years ago.

I learned from that initial meeting with Arnoldo that first impressions are not always correct, as Arnoldo, his sister Mayela, and later on their brothers Jorge and Gerber, exemplified what it means to grab onto the American Dream and carry themselves as decent, hardworking human beings.  It was never their decision to come to the United States, but they understood their parents' decision to be a gift that would eventually bring them a life far better than they ever would have had in Guatemala, and I'm proud to know the four of them, who are not simply past students. They are a special part of my extended family that has grown to include Emily and Abigail, Jorge's other half and daughter.

Arnoldo and his siblings' journey to this point has not been an easy one.  Within a couple of years of entering the U.S., the four youngsters were left to their own devices by parents who in essence abandoned them.  Two of them, one being Arnoldo, were diagnosed with lupus and Arnoldo especially suffered through numerous and serious health issues.  But they all persevered.

A few years back, Arnoldo met the love of his life, Jillian, who worked in the same restaurant as he. I remember the first time I met Jill.  It was quite awhile after they had met, and of course I was a little apprehensive about meeting this 'new' member of the family.  The four kids had brought her to Patchogue, where I lived, and we all went out to dinner.  I liked her immediately.  Her love and devotion to Arnoldo was easily apparent, and I thought she was simply a sweetheart of a person who not only cared greatly for him, but all of the members of his family as well...just like me!

So after having postponed this celebration due to health issues, and I believe on more than one occasion, this wedding is finally happening.  After a daylong deluge of rain yesterday, the skies have cleared and it's a beautiful day...very appropriate!  So here's to Arnoldo and Jillian!  May you grow old together in nothing but happiness and joy, and may I continue to be a part of your lives for many years to come.

- Mr. M

   

Song of the Day - Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield

Today is where your book begins!

myunwrittenpages

In what's become a tradition for me on the first day of school, I happily and hopefully present Natasha Bedingfield's Unwritten.  Along with yesterday's inspirational message from Heather Small, Bedingfield's beautifully written metaphor elicits great hope and inspiration for what can be, and I think that's a great message not only for the start of a school year, but for the start of any new day!

Feel the rain on your skin!

Song of the Day - Proud - Heather Small

I look into the window, of my mind

Reflections of the fears I know I've left behind

I step out of the ordinary

I can feel my soul ascending

I'm on my way, can't stop me now

And you could do the same...

Though there will be no kiddies when I go to school this morning, I will be going to school today.  Another summer done with, another school year about to begin.  Though it's not easy to get back to work after being off all summer, I am still looking forward to the new school year.  

What have you done today,

to make you feel proud?

You could be so many people

Just make that break for freedom

What have you done today,

to make you feel proud?

Today's song will be one of my first lessons of the year.  I've 'taught' Heather Small's Proud before and for good reason.  All you have to do is look at the words and listen to the music and be reminded that we all should be proud of each and everything that we do every day!  If you're not proud of it, then don't do it.  I say, I'm certainly not always proud of everything I do or don't do, so I could use that reminder myself.  So click play and then have a great Tuesday...