Get Ready to Jump

You've got to jump!

Last week, during that whole vaguebooking fiasco, my friend Ricardo private messaged me to make sure that everything was okay.  Once I'd explained the vague post and he was satisfied, he'd asked me how everything else was.  I told him that I was mentally exhausted and a little miserable, too, which prompted him to share a link with me.

That should help, my friend added.

The link was to a video from an unlikely source that I never would have otherwise come upon and you can check it out here.  It's a clip of a monologue by Family Feud host Steve Harvey, and it was filmed after a taping of the show while he was speaking with the audience.  I never knew Mr. Harvey was such a motivational speaker, and watching this one short clip has made me a fan.

Eventually you're going to have to jump

What Steve Harvey says in this clip is so simple, yet so profound.  It's a theory that I've always subscribed to, yet seemed to have forgotten these past few years.  It's something that he calls 'jumping,' and it makes perfect sense.

You cannot just exist in this life

You've got to try to live

If you wake up every morning thinking 

there's got to be more to life than it is

Man, believe that it is!

I thought I knew this secret, and I actually acted upon it once, back when I was 35 years of age. I'd been stuck in a job I hated getting up in the morning to go to, and so I found myself so miserable and wanting change that I jumped.  I jumped!  Today I find myself in a similar situation, and my past me makes my present me feel ashamed because I feel like I've stopped living.  I stopped taking chances. I stopped jumping.

The only way to see what living's like is you gotta jump!

Jump Into What?

In Harvey's discussion, he's talks about 'jumping,' or rather taking risks in life.  Without risk there is no reward.  He says that we're all endowed with our own special gifts, and I agree.  These gifts need to be employed in order reach fulfillment in our lives.  You use your gift and everything else falls into place.  It makes sense and I wholeheartedly believe that.  Being successful at something you were born to do and that you enjoy is a very worthy goal in life, but what I've found is that the jump I took affected my life for the better, yet eventually forgetting how to jump has lead me to this. Besides, what about all of the other things in life we should jump towards?

I almost always refer to the words of Madonna in my daily life, from her song Sky Fits Heaven.  In it, she talks about how we all travel down our own roads, watching the signs, and making decisions. Of course, the decisions we make will affect our path, for better or for worse.  I've always had a hard time making decisions, and oftentimes I've made the wrong ones, and they've stayed with me for a very long time.

Jumping is not only about making a living.  There are so many life changing decisions that could be made.  So many jumps I could, or maybe should, take.  Do I...

...sell my house and buy a condominium?  Rent an apartment?
...look for a new job?  Work in the city?  Move to the city?
...try and find some other way to use my skills to be more successful?
...or just say screw it and live it up without any cares in the world?

Regardless, at my age I'm feeling that I've got one last chance to make a big jump for the better.  As you can see, there are so many things to think about.  All of these questions would affect huge changes in my life, and if I don't jump I will continue on not living.  Steve Harvey says that when you do jump, your parachute isn't going to open up right away.  Eventually, he says, that parachute has got to open.

Though I've jumped before I don't really think my parachute ever really opened fully.  I know I'm not really living, and I so want to.  One thing I do know, it's about time to make another jump or two.  If I don't, then what?  I can't just talk about it though.  I've got to do it.  Stay tuned...

I haven't got much time to waste

It's time to make my way

I'm not afraid of what I'll face

But I'm afraid to stay

I'm going down my road and I can make it alone

I'll work and I'll fight till I find a place of my own

My Own Little Rabbit Hole

My drinking is killing me
My smoking is killing me

My diet is killing me

My heels are killing me

My shopping's killing me

My ego is killing me

Can't sleep, it's killing me
My label's killing me

Kickdrum

My friend Rich is always reminding me that I haven't been writing lately.  Well, he's right, and for good reason...actually two good reasons.  First of all, ever since school started I haven't had much time for writing on here, and second, I haven't been inspired to write.  That's a sad thing, I know. Anyway, today is the first...scratch that...second and third day, of the new year, 2016, and I usually get to writing some sort of reflection/looking ahead piece around this time, so here goes...

My phone is killing me
My email is killing me

These hours are killing me

My tour is killing me

This flight is killing me

My manager's killing me

My mother's killing me

My landlord's killing me

My boss is killing me
The TV is killing me

Your nagging is killing me

My boyfriend's killing me

My talking's killing me

Killing me

Killing me

I lost my iPod on New Year's Eve.  I think that was the straw that just pushed me over the edge.  One minute it was there, the next it was gone.  Ugh, the new year has already started off just like the old one left off and I think I am just about ready to check out...lol, nah, I'm not really gonna do that, but I'll honestly say that I don't think I've ever been as low as I am right now, and it's not the iPod (though that IS a killer!).  I feel so lost these days, and I no longer seem to have a handle on what I'm searching for anymore.

Can't sleep, it's killing me

My dreams are killing me

TV is killing me

My talking's killing me

Let go, you're killing me

Ease up, you're killing me

Calm down, you're killing me

My god, you're killing me

By now you might be wondering by now what the heck is with these strange lyrics and the Robyn video.  Well, it's kinda how I'm doing right now.  I think there are some of us who get a little self-destructive every once in awhile, especially when there's something not right in the head and that'd be me right about now.  When I feel like this, I tend to jump into my own little rabbit hole, cut myself off from the world and feel sorry for myself. Well I know that's not productive, and heck, by even writing this at least I'm trying to do something...

Well anyway, it's taken me three days to get to this point in my post and now it's Sunday night, the end of Christmas vacation.  Sigh!  At least I climbed out of my rabbit hole for a bit today, and maybe the order of life will set me off in a good place tomorrow.  We shall see!  To be continued...

  

Dreaming of Living and Leaving It to Change

I'm leaving today
Living it, leaving it, to change

Slowly drifting into a peaceful breeze

Tongue tied, twisted are all my memories

Celebrating a fantasy come true

Packing my bags, finally on the move

I've been listening to Christina Aguilera for the past couple of days. I'd been tired of the stuff I've been listening to over and over lately and like I sometimes do, I perused the entirety of my iPod to find something to listen to and I came across Christina.  It's been a long time (Oh is she due!) since I've listened to anything by her, and over the past two days I started from the recent and worked my way through to the past, all the while remembering why I'm a fan.

While walking this evening I came upon her 2002 classic album Stripped, and eventually reached the song Cruz.  I knew the song, knew all the lyrics, but I never knew what the song was called. Anyway, in an instant I became washed away in a contemplative state.  I put myself in her place in the song.  

As I'm driving, I'm captured by the view

So much beauty,, the road becomes my muse

The heat is rising, and my hand surfs through the wind

Cool, calm, collected is a child that lies within

Life can be funny for a lot of us, and I don't mean funny ha ha, but funny in a sort of deliberate, predictable and uninspiring kind of way.  I thought by now that I'd be happy here at this time in my life, but I am as troubled now as I've ever been.  I feel trapped in my own life, in my house, with my job and my troubles and my loneliness. I somehow stopped taking chances and have found myself stuck in the mire.

I'm leaving today

I'm living it, leaving it, to change

I'm leaving today

I'm living it, leaving it, to change

As you get older, you find yourself being more tied to your responsibilities and less apt to take chances and live.  I've always prided myself on my penchant for taking chances, leaving behind things that no longer worked for me in order to pursue a better life.  I left a career in banking because it no longer worked for me.  I walked out of a 20 year relationship for the same reason.  Big chances, living life.  They say you become more conservative as you get older and perhaps that is what's become of me, but who says that's a good thing?  We only get one shot at life and why should we waste it worrying and doing all of the things we have to do as we watch the world go by without us?  

But somehow I'll miss it

I think I'll really miss it

Yeah!  We get comfortable.  We're creatures of habit, even when we realize the habits we live no longer work for us.  We're afraid...I'm afraid, afraid that if I take another big chance, I'm going to miss out or lose out somehow what makes my life comfortable.  

I'm also afraid that I just don't know how to live anymore.  I've either forgotten how to try or I feel like if I try things will become even worse.  But the longing still burns within me...

I turn up the radio

And I'm feeling like I've never felt before

Turn down the memories of yesteryears and broken dreams

I'm free, finally free

Slowly drifting into a peaceful breeze

I often dream of just getting into a car and driving, driving out on the open road and seeing where life takes me.  Going someplace where I don't know anybody and no one knows me.  Starting fresh in the hopes of living again.  Well, I can can dream, right,  If only I were a little younger and felt a little less afraid...

I'm leaving today

I'm living it, leaving it, to change

See I'm leaving today

I'm living it, leaving it, to change

Back to School Song of the Day - Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined

I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you

Open up the dirty window

Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

This song has become somewhat of a tradition for me on the first day of school.  It's one of my favorite tunes for a lot of reasons, the best of which is that it is a call for a fresh start, one in which you live your life with arms wide open, feel the rain on your skin and release your inhibitions.  it's a great theme for a new school year, or just about any other time in one's life when they would like to begin anew and live a life full of hope, love and possibility.  

That picture above is from a few years back, after a teacher conference day in which our superintendent asked teachers to recognize some of their colleagues for their hard work and dedication to their profession.  Out of three teachers who received the honor, I was the only one of whom  not one, but three fellow teachers were inspired to nominate.  It was one of the proudest moments of my teaching career and one which I must keep in mind as I move on into this one, potentially one of the most difficult of school years for me, personally.

New York State has changed the laws concerning the education of English Language Learners in a big way, and though everyone is being affected by it, the consequences for me have turned out to be very difficult.  The law was at first applauded by ESL teachers everywhere, as our kids are finally getting some attention that has been badly missing for years and years.  However, I am sure I am not the only one who will begin to suffer for it as my workload has increased greatly, forcing me to squeeze even more out of my school day and on into my, um, free time.

Until this year I have always looked forward to the first day of school.  I get to see my kids again, craziness and all.  But for the very first time in my now 13-year teaching career, I am also dreading it. I am actually cross-posting this one on both John's Music World and John's World as this one's as much of a memoir as it is a Song of the Day.  

As goes with my life, I look for inspiration in music to get me through the tough times, and today's song will be very meaningful for me in getting through the day and the year.  For right now, I am going to let the sun illuminate the words that I cannot find and begin my book not with despair, but with hope.  Fingers crossed!

Reaching for something in the distance

So close you can almost taste it

Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines

We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you

Open up the dirty window

Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance

So close you can almost taste it

Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you

Open up the dirty window

Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance

So close you can almost taste it

Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten

The rest is still unwritten

The rest is still unwritten

Madonna's "Rebel Heart" Track Reviews - Bitch I'm Madonna

Oooohohohoh

Oooohohohoh

(You're gonna love this)

Oooohohohoh

(You can't touch this)

Oooohohohoh

(Cause I'm a bad bitch)

The last of the six new tracks from Madonna's Rebel Heart album was co-written and produced by deejay/producer Diplo and features the return of Nicki Minaj providing a rap interlude on the tune. This one's similar in scope to the MDNA track, I Don't Give a F***, which also featured Minaj, and is even more frenzied than their prior collaboration.  Bitch I'm Madonna is a lighthearted and fun track, and it sounds like they all had a good time making it.  It's not my favorite of the new tracks, but it does remain in the brain for awhile after a listen and it does have a great hook, too! 

If you'd like to check out Illuminati or any of the other tunes on Rebel Heart, pre-purchase the album and get the new tracks, click on the link below.

Be sure to check out my reviews of the first five tracks of Madonna's new Rebel Heart...

Living for Love

Devil Pray

Ghosttown

Unapologetic Bitch

Illuminati

Madonna's "Rebel Heart" Track Reviews - Illuminati

drownedmadonna

Illuminati

The Illuminati conspiracy is a conspiracy theory which holds that there is a "global elite" society that is either in control of the world or is seeking to take control of the world. As with most conspiracy theories, beliefs regarding the Illuminati conspiracy vary widely. As a result, it is virtually impossible to give a synopsis of the Illuminati conspiracy. Popularized in recent books and movies, the Illuminati conspiracy has definitely reached "cult fiction" status.

Read more:http://www.gotquestions.org/illuminati-conspiracy.html#ixzz3MjwvU9pw

In this, the sixth new track off Madonna's Rebel Heart album, the singer tackles the age-old conspiracy of a secret ruling class, proclaiming its existence, but that no major players within today's pop culture are a part of it...

It's not Jay Z and Beyoncé

It's not Nickii or Lil Wayne

It's not Oprah and Obama

The Pope or Rihanna

Queen Elizabeth or Kanye

It's not pentagrams or witchcraft

It's not trying to s-stack for cash

Black magic or Gaga

Gucci or Prada

Riding on a golden cat

...but it's out there somewhere...

The all-seeing eye is watching tonight

That's what it is

Truth and Light

The all-seeing eye is watching tonight

Nothing to hide

Secrets inside

It's like everybody in this party, shining like Illuminati

Musically, this tune is vintage Madonna, electronica-dance style.  It may not turn out to be a chart-topper, but it just might get some play on dance floors with its nice, thumpy, bass-y dance jam.  If you'd like to check out Illuminati or any of the other tunes on Rebel Heart, pre-purchase the album and get the new tracks, click on the link below.

Be sure to check out my reviews of the first four tracks of Madonna's new Rebel Heart...

Living for Love

Devil Pray

Ghosttown

Unapologetic Bitch

Madonna's "Rebel Heart" Track Reviews - Devil Pray

Take my sins and wash them away

Teach me how to pray

I’ve been stranded here in the dark

Take these walls away

letras

The second track off of Madonna's new Rebel Heart album is both an acoustic and a religiously-themed track, two things which Madonna fans have become used to over the years (see I'm a Sinner, Miles Away, Nothing Fails, etc.).  These two aspects of Madonna music have never really boded well on the charts (withh the exception of Like a Prayer, of course, and that was many moons ago!), and this one probably won't either.  

That being said, Devil Pray is a pretty good song, and serves as yet another signal that Ms. M will be making a big splash onto the music scene once again.  This one picks up where I'm a Sinner left off. On that track, our heroine was reveling in her sins, (I'm a sinner, I like it that way...), though towards the end she calls upon the saints to wash them away.  In the same vein, this one speaks to the darker side of life, only in a more serious tone...

And we can do drugs
And we can smoke weed
And we can drink whiskey

Yeah we can get high
And we can get stoned

And we can sniff glue
And we can do E
And we can drop acid
Forever been lost with no way home

Yeah, the aim of the track is to make the Devil pray, pray to keep her upon the path of sin, as she once again calls upon the holy to help her and set her back upon the right path.

 Mother Mary, can you help me?

Cuz I’m gone astray

All the angels that were around me

Have all flown away

The ground beneath my feet’s getting warmer

Lucifer is near

Holding on, but I’m getting weaker

Watch me disappear

Ooh ooh ooh sing hallelujah

Ooh ooh ooh save my soul

Ooh ooh ooh the devil was here to fool ya

Until my story’s told

Oh those sing hallelujah's!  I always love that.  Devil Pray probably won't make much of a splash on any type of chart, but it's got a great, steady rhythm and it's surely good enough by far to fall into the realm of songs to remember for Madonna fans everywhere.  Take a listen...

If you'd like to pre-purchase the album and get the new tracks, click on the link below.

Be sure to check out my review of the first track on Rebel Heart, Living for Love, right here.

Madonna's "Rebel Heart" Track Reviews - Living for Love

prince.org

What was supposed to be the first single of Madonna's new album, Rebel Heart, is also its opening track.  Now I may be biased, but I absolutely LOVE this one!  The tune opens with Madonna's nasally vocals over an accompanying piano on the verse, and slowly but surely building up towards an uplifting electronic house crescendo on the chorus.  The track is by far her best lead single in a long time, perhaps signalling a new reign over at least the dance charts for this queen.  Check it out...

If you'd like to pre-purchase the album and get the new tracks, click on the link below.

Living for Love

First you love me and I let you in

Made me feel like I was born again

You empowered me, you made me strong

Built me up and I can do no wrong

I let down my guard, I fell into your arms

Forgot who I was, I didn't hear the alarms

Now I'm down on my knees, alone in the dark

I was blind to your game

You fired a shot in my heart

Took me to heaven and let me fall down

Now that it's over

I'm gonna carry on

Lifted me up, and watched me stumble

After the heartache, I'm gonna carry on

Living for love

Living for love

I'm not giving up

I'm gonna carry on

Living for love

I'm Living for love

Not gonna stop

Love's gonna lift me up

Love's gonna lift me up

directlyrics