Saturday, January 24, 2015

Dodging a Bullet Thanks to Experience

I think I finally found a cure for my writer's block...

I want to preface this post by saying that this is the one area of my life where being my age is actually a good thing.  Through all of the experiences I've had in my life to this point, I have become smarter. Experience is the best teacher, and at my age, the experiences I've had have lead me to a better understanding of how things work and how people work, and thank God for that!  Every day, week, month and year I learn more and more and sometimes that knowledge it helps me to avoid a bad situation...

I just got home from the first time seeing someone after 'ending it.'  Boy he was pissed at me!  I guess I should have expected it, but as I approached the establishment where he works, and where we first met, I expected things to be cordial between us.  I even tried to think of questions I would ask him regarding things I knew he'd been up to, hoping to break the ice and stay friendly.  He wasn't having that, though.  He was as cold as could be, and yeah, I felt a little hurt by that, but oh well, that's his problem.  

Yup, I dodged a bullet this week and my experience is the only thing that saved me from it.  You see, a few weeks ago I met this dude at an establishment I frequent and at first I had hopes that he would be my next big thing.  He was sweet, good looking and pretty darned charming, too, and I loved it that we met the way we did.  I thought it might be a sign of good things to come.  Unfortunately, it wasn't meant to be.

When he first started working there, he was very friendly and he always found little chit chat to make with me.  I never thought anything of it, at least for the first couple of weeks, but one day after I left he contacted me through a dating app and all new thoughts began to pop in my head.  He was a PLU and he was interested in me.  Every visit to the store after that the flirting picked up into high gear until last Sunday he asked me if I had time to talk.  An hour and a half later, I was on Cloud 9. Happy thoughts filled my head as I made my way home and I looked forward to the next time we'd chat. The possibility of a relationship had been totally unexpected to that point, but I thought this guy was special.  Before we parted, I gave him my number, and that, my friends, was the beginning of the end.

The texts began almost immediately, which was normal and welcome at the beginning.  Of course when you've had a spark you're still eager to keep the conversation going, but very quickly I began to get a little uneasy.  The first text that made me feel this way was when he told me that he had told his family about me and showed them my photo.  After one conversation?  Eh!

Next came the first of a few 'miss you's,' about 24 hours after our Sunday night conversation.  The first one was okay, but the several that followed were, well, a little unusual for such a short time.  The subjects of many of his subsequent texts became all too familiar, like guys I've dated in the past.  In all, 129 text messages from him came over the 48 hours from Sunday to Tuesday night, making me feel like I was dating someone.  Again, after just one 'date."  Um...stop!

Talking with my friends at bowling Tuesday night confirmed what I had been thinking.  If I took it any further with this guy, who knows where it would end up.  I've had my fair share of obsessive types in my life and there was no way I was going there again.  I know now at this point in my life that that would be a complete waste of my time.  I needed to put an end to it and so I stopped answering his texts sometime Tuesday evening.  Thankfully, he seemed to understand because I haven't heard from him since, that is until our lil encounter this evening.

Twenty years ago I probably would have continued on communicating with this guy, eventually giving in to the physical and then...I shudder to think what would have happened.  Jealousy, mistrust, arguments, feelings of being trapped.  Like I said, my experiences thankfully saved me from what surely would have become an unpleasant situation further on down the line.  When I look back at all of my relationships I realize now that signs were always there, for every one of them, that it would eventually not work out.  I can;t afford to make those types of mistakes anymore.  Ain't nobody got time for that!

At least the situation taught me that there still could be someone out there for me.  That hope that had been dwindling over the past several years has been revived again.  A week ago I was experiencing the euphoria of a possible relationship that came out of nowhere, and though I am happy that I avoided a bad situation, I know now that he could still be out there, and he can turn up at anytime, any place.  I've just got to keep my eyes open...

It's only love, give it away
(It's only love)
You'll probably get it back again
(It's only love)
It's simple, it's a silly thing
Throw it away like a boomerang
I wish we all could lighten up
It's only love, not a time bomb

No comments:

Post a Comment