Song of the Day - Madonna's "Rain"

Well it's a rainy Friday here on Long Island and I figured I'd find a song with "rain" in the title for today's "Song of the Day." Believe it or not, there were many songs to choose from, like Terence Trent Darby's "Rain" (a good one!), Milli Vanilli's "Blame it on the Rain", Oran Juice Jone's "The Rain", Blind Melon's "No Rain" and many, many more. Of course, the best "rain" song to me is the one by Madonna. It was the 5th single off her great "Erotica" CD. The song is beautiful and the video is visually stunning. So enjoy today's "Song of the Day", "Rain":

Song of the Day - Who's That Chick? - David Guetta f/Rihanna

Today's "Song of the Day" is a collaboration between hot producer David Guetta and Rihanna. Guetta's 2010 album "One Love" was full of great dance/club collaborations with a wide array of guest singers, including Kelly Rowland, Fergie and will.i.am, Akon, Estelle and more, and this one's as infectuous and catchy as those. Enjoy "Who's that Chick?"





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Seeking Solace in Gnarls

Well the roller coaster just keeps going downhill! Without getting into too much, the tax man had some pretty grim news for me today and I think I’ve completely lost it. The news came as a shock and now I have a lot of lot of thinking to do…

This works out just great with all of the other things that have been going on in my life lately and I find myself in the lowest of places. Once again I've turned to music to seek comfort in my desolation through the words of others.

At the moment I’m listening to Gnarls Barkley, a group whose music I’ve been a fan of for a long time. When I first discovered them, after their song “Crazy” became so popular, I found the lyrical content of the majority of their stuff dark and attractive. Many of these songs spoke to me in one way or another, and they telll me that I'm not always alone in the way I'm feeling.

Though afterwards I learned to like their more up tempo stuff just as much, the darker songs are ones which I can identify with during times like these. Here’s some of what I’m talking about:

Crazy

I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that place.
Even your emotions had an echo
In so much space

And when you're out there
Without care,
Yeah, I was out of touch
But it wasn't because I didn't know enough
I just knew too much

Does that make me crazy?

This song has always been a work of pure genius to me. I think we all think we're a little crazy sometimes and as long as we accept that, we're ok!



Just a Thought

Here’s one that got me the first time I ever heard it. The song’s called “Just a Thought”, and it’s about something I think we all go through in our minds when things aren't looking so good. Read on and take a listen below:

All I want is your understanding
As in the small act of affection
"Why is this my life?"
Is almost everybody's question

And I've tried
Everything but suicide
But it's crossed my mind

I prefer peace
Wouldn't have to have one worldly possession
But essentially I'm an animal
So just what do I do with all the aggression?

Well I've tried
Everything but suicide
But it's crossed my mind

Life is a one-way street, and if you could paint it
I'd draw myself going in the right direction
So I go all the way - like I really really know -
But the truth is I'm only guessin'

Well I've tried
Everything but suicide
But it's crossed my mind

It's even dark in the daytime
It's not just good - it's +Great Depression+
When I was lost I even found myself
Looking in the gun's direction

Well I've tried
Everything but suicide
But it's crossed my mind



This is some powerful and dark stuff, huh? I couldn’t help but hear it in my head as I left the tax man’s office today, as this newest bad news hit me like a ton of bricks. “What else can happen to me?” I think to myself, and yes, the chorus runs through my head over and over. But like they say in the song, it’s “just a thought.”

Who’s Gonna Save My Soul



Woof! I just saw this video for the first time and I couldn’t help but relate to it big time. Though the video pokes fun at breakups, the song itself is soulful, deep, and very sad. I think it just may make it to my “Favorite Slow Songs” list, although I'd better not listen to it too often if you know what I mean. Check out the lyrics and the video below:

I got some bad news this morning
Which in turn made my day
When this someone spoke I listened
All of a sudden, has less and less to say
Ohhhhhh how could this be?
All this time, I've lived vicariously
Who's gonna save my soul now?
Who's gonna save my soul now?
How will my story ever be told now?
How will my story be told now?

Made me feel like somebody
Hmmm, like somebody else
Although he was imitated often
It felt like I was bein myself
Is it a shame that someone else's song
Was totally and completely dependent on
Who's gonna save my soul now?
Who's gonna save my soul now?
I wonder if I'll live to grow old now
Gettin high cause I feel so low down

And maybe it's a little selfish
All I have is the memory
Yet I never stopped to wonder-ahhhhh
Was it possible you were hurtin worse than me
Still my hunger turns to greeeeed
Cause what about what I neeeeeed?!
And OHHHH~! Who's gonna save my soul now?
Who's gonna save my soul now?
Ohhhh I know I'm out of control now
Oooh-oooh, tired enough to lay my own soul down


Gnarls Barkley - "Who's Gonna Save My Soul?"
Uploaded by DowntownMusic. - Watch more music videos, in HD!

These are just a few of the Gnarls Barkley songs that have spoken to me in times of sorrow and worry. There are others, but for me these three songs tell the story of my life in the present, and so these are all I’ll share for now. If you don’t know the music of Gnarls Barkley, then you’re really missing out on something. Though they’ve never been too mainstream, other than the smash “Crazy”, I think their music is relevant, poignant, and somehow strangely comforting.

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February 23, 2011 - The "D" Word?

Good morning all. Well, today is tax day, the moment of truth. As always, my refund is going to get another hit this year because I actually made enough money from my writing to get a 1099 in the mail and another 1099 was sent to me by the flower shop because for some reason they decided to pay me as an independent contractor again. Ugh, and the money from this year’s refund is going to go to my summer fund. Fingers crossed anyway!

Life’s Roller Coaster



Anyone who knows me know how much I love roller coasters, but this roller coaster of life is a whole other story. It seems I can never have two good days in a row lately, and I’ve got to figure out something that will break me from all of this. I know that time helps, but I’m starting to realize that it’s not just him that’s causing me grief, and all the time in the world isn’t going to help with that.

I know I probably brought this all on myself, but maybe I needed a reminder that there are a lot of things I still need to work on before I can really get a move on with my life. After my dentist appointment yesterday, I did a little shopping near the Smithaven Mall and afterwards I found myself going to visit Joe at his job. I hadn’t spoken to him since Christmas Eve and I haven’t seen him since August. I don’t know, I just felt a need to see him.

Our visit was short and pleasant, as it usually is with him. I saw a couple of his friends who I’d known when we were together and had a chance to catch up with them a bit before Joe walked in. He’d been on a house call when I got there, but he showed up in no time, really. I don’t know, I think he was happy to see me. My first trepidation at making the visit was his reaction to my appearance.

Like my friends Grazyna and Rich before, Joe seemed shocked that I had lost so much weight. “You need to go eat a cheeseburger,” he kept telling me.

“I’m 170 pounds. That’s just right for me.”

“Where are you 170 pounds? I can see it in your face,” he answered disapprovingly.
I asked him if I looked sick and he told me no, but I can’t help but wonder about that. I mean, I don’t feel sick, but like my mom I often worry about things like that. Deep down I know it’s my eating habits, and I’ve been trying to eat more lately, but I’m still afraid to gain weight.

We spoke of our lives and how they were going. Throughout the conversation I kept thinking to myself how happy he seems with his life. I feel like I’m still in some sort of purgatory. No matter what I do, I still can’t seem to get things right with my life and I don’t know how to fix it.

I thought about him most of the day afterwards. I thought about all of the memories we shared, the happy times together. I kept asking myself “what happened?” and the sadness at our ending came back to me. I know that when we broke up it was how it had to be, though, because just like with Sunday, I know it takes two to make a relationship and if one is not right with it there’s nothing else that can be done about it.

On my way home from the club last night I listened to my “Favorite Slow Songs” folder on my iPod. Though I knew it would only make me sadder, I couldn’t help it. Aside from being slow and sometimes sad, they’re all great songs that I love to sing along to. There was MJB’s “Each Tear”, Pink’s “Glitter in the Air”, some gut-wrenching Adele, and some more Mary. By the time the list reached around the 10th song I lost it. The song was Sade’s “By Your Side.” It had been Joe’s and my song and for the first time ever it made me cry.

I cried not for Joe or for Sunday, but for me. I don’t know, but right now I can’t help but relate the two relationships and I’m just feeling sorry for myself. With Joe, I had it all, everything one could ask for in a life partner, but I wasn’t satisfied with the downside of our relationship. With him, I believed I just may have found the next love of my life, but ultimately fate dealt its hand against my favor once again.

So where to go from here? That’s a good question, one which I don’t have an easy answer to. I’m feeling much better today, but I know it won’t last too long. I just have to make a conscious effort to hang on to it as long as I can, and figure out a way to make it all better. We’ll have to see!



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