Monday, May 28th, 2012 - Memorial Day Sunday at the Grove; Dark Clouds

It's been awhile since I've caught up personally here, and I figured now might be the time to do so.  Right now it's Monday night, the end of Memorial Day and I'm sitting here in my office sweating.  Not only has the unofficial start of summer begun, but so has the hot, sticky weather.  If it weren't for my doctor's orders to not exert myself physically, I definitely would've put my bedroom AC in today. Instead I'll just have to fan it....

Memorial Day Sunday at Cherry Grove

Yesterday was one of those days where my friends, myself and virtually every other gay person on Long Island always go to Cherry Grove.  The Sunday of both Memorial and Labor Days are the two days my pals Rich and Bobby always go, and our group can be anywhere from just the three of us to ten or more.

This year it was the three of us and one of my new pals Marianna.  I met Marianna a few weeks back in Circus.  She was decidedly curious then and we became fast friends, and I thought she might have a blast, which she did.  Rich's niece Erin was there with her posse and all in all we had a great time, but for me it was different than usual...

 Marianna and I

My pal Manny and me      

Dark Clouds

For those of you who read me regularly, you know that I talk a lot about those Ziggy periods, where things just seem to go bad for me, intangible things that I have no control over and it's very frustrating to get through it.  From experience, I know that I have to just grin and bear these periods and wait them out until they pass, but this time it seems to be taking forever.

I think that maybe a lot of it has to do with the surgery...well, my outlook on things anyway.  In the weeks leading up to it, the whole thing cast a shadow over my life and I couldn't help but think of it a lot of the time.  Then, when it was over, the physical pain came and still, almost two weeks later it hasn't ebbed much.  Don't get me wrong, the pain is not nearly as it was, say a week ago, but physically I just don't feel right and I hate it.

Coinciding with all of this are the intangibles, the things I have no control over.  Really, there have been so many I couldn't even begin to count them all, but in total they've got me in a pretty down spot and the only thing keeping me going is the knowledge that it can't last forever...or could it?

Just today I went to my pal Blanche's house for a quick visit, and when I left, a Ziggy moment occurred. I opened my car door to get in and since my car is so low the door opened up onto Blanchie's grass.  Well, I went to close the door and voila, the door handle on the inside of the car just broke off!  It seems the door got stuck on the grass and I pulled it so hard it broke.  FML, lol...

Things at school are as rough as they've ever been.  I can't share much here, but all I will say is that I've found myself smack dab in the middle of a scandal that's made the news, and I've been dealing with very little time for teaching and a lot of time for cleaning up messes.  Again, FML!

These are just two of what feels like hundreds of little, irritable things that have been happening to me lately and I'm not sure how much more I can take.  Dita told me that yesterday I wasn't myself at the Grove and he was right.  I can't say for certain, but it feels like these dark clouds I call Ziggy are just lingering over my head and I see no end in sight.  But there's got to be, right?  Right!

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The Universe Between Your Ears


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