I've got, got to get myself together

I'm in one of those places today, and I feel it coming to a head soon. The past few weeks, and especially the past couple of days have been very emotional for me, and I'm trying my best to get through it all for the better. It seems that the universe is aligned in such a way lately that only makes me sad, and nothing else. There's not one particular thing that's done it, just a mass of interconnected circumstances that all seem to be connected through me somehow.

A year ago, perhaps, I might have rehashed the whole complicate mess, but these days I tread lightly when it comes to the personal. I will say though that I've been doing a lot of reflecting on my life lately and I've done a lot of crying, though I'm not sure what makes me feel this way. Considering myself an intelligent person, it's hard sometimes to admit that I might need help getting through things, but maybe I do.

In lots of ways I am thankful for my life. I appreciate the things I've accomplished, the people I've touched, and those who've touched me. On the other hand I feel very, very alone right now, and I realize I've still not decided whether or not I'm comfortable that way. It's an inner conflict that I've been dealing with forever it seems. Life is short, it truly is, and I'm hoping to find a way to forget the muck and mire and get to the good stuff, whatever that might be. To do that, I know I've got to change, but how?

I just took a long walk, which is another way I deal with problems because it gets me to think. I found myself returning to Robyn and this song, which I haven't listened to in a long time. It's funny, because I was able to listen to it without thoughts of the past, only in terms of my here and now, and like someone once told me, before I move on I've got to get myself together, and that's what I intend to do...

Thanks for reading!

 

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