A few weeks ago I mentioned this guy I met that night I went to Alfie’s Bar in Patchogue. His name is Ozzie and we became friends of Facebook soon after we had met. I actually mentioned this a little this morning, but Ozzie is also a drag performer known as Ruby Diamond and he’s the weekly hostess at Circus Wednesdays, which I’d never been to. I promised Ozzie I’d be there, dressed in pink (they were having a “Pink Party”), and I was.
I have to say I was really impressed with the place. All of these years I’ve passed it by and never gone in, I never would have guessed it was so nice. The décor, the atmosphere, the bartenders…all stellar, and the crowd had quite a few familiar faces, too, though like many Long Island bars, the clientele is pretty clickish. Jay Antonio, the guy who runs the place is an awesome guy...he came over and introduced himself, bought me a shot, and I could tell that he's really intoo his clientele and they all like him a lot, too! Of course, being Ruby’s guest got me in with the cool crowd, and I have to say I really enjoyed myself. Thanks Ruby…I think I may just become a regular on Wednesdays.
Oy, I’m starting to think that maybe I’m going out too much! Well, last night wasn’t expected, and I did stay later than I thought I would have, but at least I slept late and I’ll be okay for going to Splash tonight. This will be the second week I’m actually going with somebody. Yes, through all the craziness of my week, I forgot to mention that last week I met my buddy Laura Kim and her friend Michael at Splash. It was totally unplanned and totally a blast (except when the dancer who was dancing on the bar above me knocked my drink over three, count em’, three times!).
A cool Cam Wow double shot of the show at Splash last Thursday
Me and LK
Anyway, tonight I am going to Splash with my friend Paul, who actually asked me earlier in the week if I’d be going tonight. Since I went last week, I wouldn’t ordinarily be going, but I kind of turn him down a lot, so I said okay. We’ll see how it goes…I’ve spoken of Paul before, and we’ve had both good and bad times together there, but now I think things will be okay. I've come to like him more the more I get to know him and I think we have a good understanding of one another. He and I are definitely in a better place than before, for sure!
I’ve got more tentative plans all the way through Monday, and none of them are etched in stone. A couple of them, with guys, are making me a little apprehensive. I tell ya, I just don’t know about guys anymore. I’m starting to feel like no one out there is really worth it. It seems every experience I have with a guy always ends up in a negative way…either I’m not really interested, or there’s that one thing that makes it seem like it’s not worth even trying, and then of course there are the ones who like me, but the feelings are not mutual. I'm getting a lot of those lately!
As I said, two of my tentative plans are with potential guys, and I hold no real excitement for either. Not the guys, necessarily, just the situations….I dunno, I’m starting to believe that I’ll just know the right one when he comes along and that I should never expect anything from any encounter with anybody. I guess in that way my experience with "him" taught me a couple of good, but hard lessons.
He was the first person since Joe that I knew…I don’t know how, but I just knew I wanted to “hang” with for awhile. It’s inexplicable really, but it wasn’t attraction or sex or what he did specifically or anything like that. I guess it was just the connection that we had at the time that made me not want to think about anyone else.
Then of course, there’s what happened in the end. When it ended the first time, I was completely shocked, and then after the second time… I guess the rejection was a little dose of reality that hardened me a little, and it’s going to be a long time before I trust in a relationship with anyone.
So these two experiences, I guess, have shown me their value in the lessons they’ve taught me. For now I feel as if I’m just going through motions with guys. I’m just playing it day by day and we’ll see where the weekend and the rest of the summer take me… In the meantime, I just know that when the right one does come along, if he does, again I'll just know it, but hopefully next time the feeling will be mutual, so I've got to be very aware.
My good buddies are happy to know that after months, okay years, of bugging me, and months after I stated on this very blog that I would start taking care of things, health-wise, I finally made two appointments with doctors I’ve really needed to see for a long time. I had my first one yesterday, and now I have to go for a colonoscopy, ugh! Just what I was afraid of, but…my next appointment is on Tuesday and that one I’m kind of looking forward to. I will keep you posted.
So that’s my story for the past and the next few days, for the most part. Hopefully I’ll get back soon enough so that I won’t have so much to say and keep you reading so long, but I do appreciate the page views! Have a great evening!
Here's a photo I found on the Internet the other day that I thought was cool...