Today is Monday, January 16th, 2012, Martin Luther King Day and the last day of a three-day weekend. Yesterday was a busy day and today I’m taking it easy, trying to get some writing done and some stuff around the house, as well. There are plenty of things to talk about this morning, so without further adieu…
Me and my pal Vera
As I mentioned yesterday, I was invited to the third birthday party of my friend Vera’s daughter Isabella. For me this was more akin to a family event than anything else, as Vera is like family, and I was one of only two non-family members were invited to the shindig. The party was your typical family/kid birthday party and I mean no offense to my pal by saying this, but the whole thing just exemplified for me all of the things about having a family that I am happy to not be a part of firsthand: the screaming kids, the having to deal with in-laws, and of course the princess-laden party favors, lol. Anyway, I’m happy to be a part of it all in my own small way, and I hope Bella enjoyed her day, the cutie that she is!
Bella and big brother Frankie
After Bella’s party it was off to my annual, and much belated, birthday dinner with my pal, Laura Kim. We headed off to Perabell’s in Patchogue, which is one of the town’s most popular, for our dinner. The meal and the conversation were fantastic and topped off with a fabulous molten lava chocolate cake with ice cream. When we were ordering our dessert, LK mentioned that it would be my decision since it was my birthday dinner and the waitress took the initiative to add a candle to the cake and the whole wait staff serenaded me for my birthday. Needless to say, I was mortified, lol.
An Unfortunate Revelation
Sometimes it takes an third party observer to point out things about a person that aren’t so obvious to themselves. During our dinner conversation, Laura Kim and I were talking about relationships when I wondered aloud why I’ve been beating around the bush when it comes to guys. I like to say that I am picky, but there’s much more to it than that, as my friend pointed out. Almost every time anyone shows an interest in me, I either find things wrong with him or I just back away, afraid to get involved.
Just the other night at Splash there were these two guys standing right near me, both of whom seemed to be just friends and both were attractive. The cuter of the two was making plenty of eye contact with me, flashing me a couple of smiles, and at first I flirted back with him, but for some reason I shied away and left the scene, ruining what possibly could have been a nice connection. It’s not the first time I’ve done this, and it’s been making me think lately that there is something terribly wrong and if I don’t fix it I’m going to find myself alone for the rest of my days.
As I shared this with Laura Kim, all she could do was smile knowingly and ask if she could offer her observations. Of course I invited her to, as this has always been the crux of our relationship. She told me that this all has to do with my last relationship, which ended just about a year ago now. She pointed out how happy I had been early on in that relationship, the happiest she’d ever seen me, and that happiness turned into a crushing loss when it ended, one that has stayed within my mind making me afraid to feel that type of hurt again.
Of course I can see that’s she’s got a point. The hurt I felt with Joe was a different kind of hurt and even that took me a long time to get over. The hurt I felt over this last one was raw, the way it ended, the loss of a possibly wonderful relationship, and a blow to my ego. I realize that there’s nothing specifically I can do to correct this situation. Feelings are feelings and they can’t just be changed at will. I just need to keep these thoughts in my mind as I go out there in the world of dating and start taking chances again. It’s really the only way for me to possibly find that special someone, who I do believe is out there somewhere.
The Life You Were Born to Live
That conversation brought us to Dan Millman’s book. It’s been awhile since I paid any attention to it, but I offered to do LK’s numbers and showed her the sections of the book which pertained to her. Another BINGO! Much of what Millman says about both her and her significant other were pretty much on the money, as it has been with myself and many others.
In talking about the book, I am once again reminded that it is not meant as a “how-to” for your life, but as a list of things for you to keep in mind about your nature and how to make the most of living the positive aspects of it. Once again I highly recommend it and I will be revisiting my own sections as mental reminders to work my own attributes towards the positive.
A New Look
Lately I’ve been toying with the notion of changing the way I look. When I was younger I used to do that every once in awhile to stay fresh and different, but as I’ve gotten older that’s been a little more difficult, with the exception of my physique. One of the things I’d like to change is the graying of my hair. Though some people are attracted to the salt and the pepper, I have never been, though I would never want to dye my hair. I think it looks obviuos and sometimes ridiculous when some guys do that.
Last week I went out and bought Just for Men, a product that promises to get rid of only the gray while leaving the rest of your hair the color it is. Since my beard has way more gray than my hair, I bought the product for beards and moustaches to start with, but after making the purchase I saw that you’re not supposed to get that part of your face wet for 48 hours after applying it. Now how am I supposed to do that? So I decided to try something else…
For the first time in years, I shaved off my goatee yesterday, leaving the moustache and a patch of chin hair alone. I’m still not sure about it…you can judge for yourself. When I first did it, I unwittingly took a picture and posted it on Facebook asking for opinions. The mistake was that I was still in my towel after the shave when I took the photo and I am bare-chested in the picture, which elicited much more of a response than my beardless face:
“I want you”
“Can I borrow some chest hair? I’ll give it back”
“I love the new look. Nipples, nipples, nipples”
“U have skittles nipples, like me”
“This is Facebook not Playgirl”
Oy, this went on and on and on, but at least it gave me a few chuckles. Thanks so much to my “funny” friends Jorge, Manny, Ben, Christopher and Kayla for making me laugh. :-P Here's the new look, in a cleaner picture:
A New Feature
I’ve added a new feature to this blog as a part of my revamping process. Now you can follow John's World via email by putting your email address in the box on the right sidebar. I know I’ve got several friends who check back from time to time to see if I’ve added anything new and now by subscribing you’ll be notified whenever I post something.
Well, I think I’ve given you enough reading for one post. Thanks as always for your support and have an awesome day!