Friday, August 26, 2011

August 26th, 2011 - A hurricane and a colonoscopy: loads of fun!

Photo Source: Press TV

Long Island is in the upper middle of the map....yikes!

It’s Friday night and the big storm is looming! Yes, hurricane hysteria is here and I say let’s just get on with it already! I’ve had a pretty crappy couple of days and come hell or high water, I’m going to party tonight…

Ugh, Men!

All week long I’ve been anticipating today’s procedure (a colonoscopy) and yesterday’s, um, prep for it, and so my mind has been somewhat preoccupied from the other issues in my life. I don’t know, but dating men is the last thing on my mind these days…I’m just not feeling it…and yet suitors seem to be coming out of the woodwork for my attention. I’ve never been very good at letting anybody down, and though I’m trying my best, it all just gives me a big headache!

I’m starting to think I may become celibate and not ever seek out anyone for any sort of companionship, sexual, romantic or otherwise. Oh, who am I kidding? Maybe once school starts and all of this weather nastiness is over I’ll be in a better mood and…

Anyway, I’m going to Splash tonight for one last hurrah before the big one arrives sometime tomorrow night and I’m going to do my darndest to have a good time.

Prep Not Fun

Yesterday was the prep for today’s procedure and what everyone told me was spot on! I had to fast the entire day and around six o’clock I had to begin “the prep.” The name of the powdered stuff I had to drink had the word “bowel” in it, so you can imagine what it does. By the time I started it I was so hungry I could have eaten a horse, but I digress…

I had to drink this 16 ounce mixture twice, at six and at then again at two in the morning. My friend Ozzie came by to hang with me beforehand and we went to get me some yum-yums (lime jello and chicken broth! Tempting, right?) to dine on for the evening. Oz was pretty good until after I took the first dose and my stomach started grumbling, and then the little jokes started coming. Sheesh, I know that this particular procedure touches on the more embarrassing things about the body, but… Hehe... Before long I had to kick him out and the rest of the evening was spent….aw, you can just imagine!

Photo Source: Medline Plus

The Colonoscopy

Nancy Lou, who I dedicated today’s “Song of the Day” to earlier, showed up at my house at 10:15 sharp and we headed out to the surgical center in Shirley. I really wasn’t too nervous because I was just thinking of the nice big breakfast he and I would have afterwards. The whole thing lasted about two hours and again, what people told me was dead on. The anesthesia they gave me put me into the most blissful sleep and before I knew it, I was eating Lorna Doones and drinking a can of fruit juice, groggy in my bed.

I had a polyp, which was removed, and justified my going for the procedure in the first place. The doctor told me that all polyps eventually become cancerous (in about 10 years), so I’m happy I didn’t wait the four years to have it done.

A Vivid Anesthesiec Dream

I know, I know, anasthesiec is not a word, but since I was under it when I had this weird and vivid dream, I just wanted to use my own made-up word. Any-who, in the dream I was in a nightclub with my mother (very strange!). The club was similar to an after-hours place in Jackson Heights I used to go to years back, like an apartment turned into a disco. We were dancing, something like the Watusi, and I saw ‘him’ and three friends sitting on a chair across the room. He looked over at me and then turned and walked away, down the stairs. I looked over at my mom, who was still getting down, oblivious to the scene and boom, I woke up! So real and so weird!

Irene’s a Comin’

Well it’s been 26 years since we’ve had a major hurricane hit Long Island and this one looks like a sure thing. Wall to wall coverage of it is making everyone frenzied. There’s not a battery or a bottle of water to be had anywhere. Details are sketchy, as they always are with these things, but it looks like we’re right in the track of this thing as of tomorrow night and into Sunday.

Of course, I am a little worried. As I said the other day, I’ve got a lot of old, gnarly trees around my house and even the last thunderstorm that hit us I lost several huge branches. I did a lot of prep work today and I’m going to finish tomorrow by putting all of my plants and loose yard stuff in my garage. I did my shopping, and other than that there’s little I can do but wait and sit it out.

Local municipalities are taking this thing seriously, though. I got a phone call earlier that they are issuing a mandatory evacuation for all points south of Montauk Highway in Patchogue, my town, which is only about a mile and a half from where I live. So even though I don’t have to evacuate, my friend Blanchie does. Yikes! At least we have at least almost another full day to prep, and like I said, all anyone can do at this point is wait it out and hope for the best.

In the meantime, I think I’m going to have a bona fide hurricane party tomorrow night, you know, with lots of booze and a few good friends. Should be a fun way to ring in Irene! Tomorrow’s gonna be a busy day! I’ll keep you posted…

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