S is for Single

This past Valentine’s Day, I wrote a post about how being single wasn’t so bad, and that’s true, sometimes... 

When I was 22years old, I met Joe, and he and I hit it off big time and before I knew it we had been together for 20 years.  Joe and I spent many happy times together, and we lived life in much the same way many married couples do.  For 20 years we did a lot of things together, trips to Italy, Bermuda and Aruba, dinners with friends, family functions, and we even bought our first house together.  Being one half of a couple was all I knew for all that time.

Towards the end, both he and I realized that our relationship was no longer working and we decided to part ways.  I bought him out of his share of the house and suddenly, at the age of 42, I was single again.  Being single was what I thought I had wanted, though my relationship had lasted so long I had forgotten what single was like.  Besides, the first time I was single I had been living at home with my family, not all by myself like I am now.

As I said in that earlier post, single has its ups and downs, and here now, five years down the line I’m still not sure how I like it.  I love the freedom I have to do what I want, when I want, but I miss having someone to share times with, whether it be lounging around the house together on a lazy afternoon or going out on the town.  Being single involves being lonely a lot of the time, and though I like solitude sometimes, I hate the loneliness!

Since he and I broke up, Joe has found someone new to share his life with.  He ended up being single for a little over a year after we broke up and nowadays he’s happily set up in a new home and a new life as I linger.  He always knew what he wanted, whereas I’m still trying to figure out exactly what I’m looking for.  I know that ultimately I’d like to be in another relationship, although this time I know I want to get it absolutely right. 

About a year and a half ago, I thought I’d found it, though in the end I was wrong.  But at least I learned from that experience that I’m just going to know it when and if he should ever come along.  If there is a person out there that was meant for me, he will show his face when the time comes and I’m just going to know it.

The only thing that worries me is that time keeps on ticking and even though I still look and act pretty young, my ‘window of attraction’ gets smaller by the year.  I hate to say it, but being in financial distress doesn’t help matters either.  Being alone and saddled with this house puts an undo strain on me being able to get myself out there.

For now, though, getting myself out there as best I can is what I do in the hopes that one of these days I’ll find my Mr. Right.  Then being single will no longer cause me anymore loneliness.  And in the meantime, I’m still going to enjoy the benefits of being single while I can.  Sounds like a plan, eh?  Eh!  Lol!    

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