Sunday, January 9, 2011

January 9, 2011 - A Bad Day

I’m having a bad day today and it’s my own fault. Thinking about him last night carried over to this morning and I’ve been depressed all day. There’s a piece I’ve been meaning to write, and after several attempts at starting it over the past week, I finally sat down and got it done. It’s called “Soundtrack of a Relationship” (see below) and it’s all about the songs that told the tale of our time together. Writing the piece and going through the songs just made me even sadder, but I think it's a good piece.

I got a call today about the car I’m selling. It was the only person I spoke to all day. The man seemed interested and I was excited for a brief moment. He said he would call me back to come take a look, so I went outside to clean the snow off of it and start it up. He never called back, and that’s when my depression hit a low for the day. I listened to some sad music and went to sleep. I’m simply at a loss, still finding this all just too much for me to swallow. I don’t know what to do to make it better.

I haven’t had any communication with him in a week and even though I said that’s what I wanted, it doesn’t seem to be helping me forget like it’s supposed to…at least not yet. Maybe I’m expecting too much too soon. My poor kitties know that I’m not right and they’ve been all over me a bit too much and I mostly shoo them away. I just miss him so much and I’m hoping that he’s hurting at least a little over me. I just don’t know! Oh man, I’ve got, got to get myself together and soon!

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