Sunday, January 9, 2011
January 9, 2011 - Rethinking my distractions
It’s Sunday morning and aside from the cold it looks like it’s a beautiful day outside. Although I went to sleep around 3:30, I got up around 8:30 when my cat Dylan got up in my face and wouldn’t let me sleep. I did make it out last night. The roads weren’t bad at all, that is until I was on my way home and I hit a mini-blizzard that was covering maybe an 8-mile radius over this part of Long Island. It was okay, though. I took it easy and made it home safe.
Splash was good last night, but more of the same. Though I say I’m getting better I think I still need more time to get through this. As always, I got to the club and almost immediately got into the mix of people dancing on the dance floor. Like I said yesterday, I was going to try and meet people this time, not going to shy away, and I started the evening out with those very intentions. I danced the way I always do, with good moves (if I say so myself!) and a big smile on my face, and I did get attention from several interesting people, but most of the attention I got was unwanted.
Within the first few minutes of hitting the floor, I ran into this Asian guy I had known from going to Splash these last several months. I don’t know his name. We’ve never spoken, but a while back he had pursued me and I had to let him know that I wasn’t interested. He got the message and now whenever I see him we just share a dance or two, which is totally cool.
Last night he had two other Asian friends with him, neither of whom was anything to look at. I was dancing by myself on the side of the dance floor when I caught the eye and smile of my ‘dancing buddy.’ I danced over towards him. I smiled at his friends, which they obviously took the wrong way because within seconds the two of them were trying to make a sandwich out of me! I had one of them pressed up against my back and the other to my front, and the two of them were holding hands and smiling towards one another. My dancing buddy just smiled. I had to do some pretty wild maneuvers to get out of that one and for the rest of the night I had to keep one eye over my shoulder and my arms ready for some shoving if need be.
Meanwhile another dude, a shirtless, muscular Latino guy, was giving me the eye. He was good looking enough, but he wasn’t my type. As I tried to keep at arm’s length from the Asian guys, he seemed to figure it was his job to rescue me, and so he started dancing up towards me. Within seconds, he was running his hands down my back. I turned around to face him and move my body away, but he was looking me square in the eyes and moving closer towards me. When he started touching my chest I made my move. Now I was slithering away from three. Throughout the night, I kept moving away from them, dancing my way across the floor to another spot and every time I moved, it always seemed the three of them were still at close range.
At one point there was a cute guy who’d been returning my smiles. He was dancing with someone, but he was clearly interested. We danced up to one another a couple of times, and at one point he reached across and stroked my cheek with his hand. It made me smile! At that point, one of the Asian dudes came up from behind me and was actually trying to dry hump me from behind. I rolled my eyes at the cute guy, turned to face the Asian guy and moved on off the dance floor.
(Mental note - I’ve got to learn to stop smiling so much because guys take that as a signal that I’m interested, even when I’m not. It’s gonna be hard because smiling is a natural thing for me, but I guess in situations like these it sends out the wrong signal.)
After leaving the dance floor I headed downstairs. Splash has a second bar area down there complete with disc jockey and its own crowd. They were playing Beyonce’s “Get Me Bodied”, one of my favorite songs, and I jumped into the fray on the tiny dance area and got my groove on for a bit. Before the song ended, though, the witching hour hit without warning.
As has happened to me almost every time I’ve gone to Splash since he left me, I hit a point in the night when he pops into my head. I don’t know if it’s because that’s where I met him or whether it’s just me coming down from my distraction. I suddenly get a sense that I’m all alone. The music and the faces fade into the background, and all I want to do is get out of there. I quickly ran to the coat check to get my jacket and left. Within minutes, I was once again in my car for the long ride home, listening to sad music and thinking of him. I’m beginning to rethink my nights out at Splash…